It’s getting dark earlier, the holiday season is rolling along and it’s less than 200 days until camp! A lot of us are already starting to feel the pressure to build awesome programs for this Summer and hire the best staff possible in a really tight job market. Remain calm! Don’t forget, you did it last Summer and it was the “Best Summer Ever!”, right? Well, it won’t happen magically and the stress is there so it’s important to make sure you get “into the groove” so you can optimize your time, be ready for the next 200 days or less and put yourself in the best possible state of mind to make this Summer even better than last.

Here are some simple ways to make sure you get and stay in the groove:

Take care of yourself! It’s important that despite our hectic work and personal lives that we find time for some self-care. Watch a movie, go out to a nice meal, do something that’s just for you or just sit somewhere with your beverage of choice and some good tunes. It’s pretty incredible what happens to our brains/creativity when we “still the waters” and turn off all the distractions.

Get Organized! Technology has made our work easier in many ways and it’s also made it incredibly difficult to find balance and set boundaries. I use a calendar app to set my day up into different categories including “Dave Time” everyday. This is time that I reserve just for me and use as a time to work on a project, run an important errand or take some time for myself. The app also allows other people to schedule time based on the parameters you set up. It’s also a really good exercise in sticking to a schedule and staying focused.

Be Open! It’s easy to hunker down at our desks, listen to a podcast, go to the occasional conference and just keep plugging away at the seemingly endless list. What’s not so easy is asking for and accepting advice, reaching out to potential mentors or finding a community that you can rely on for support. It’s all about making sure that you don’t get caught up in trying to do it all yourself. It’s important to recognize that the camp community is vast and willing to help so put yourself out there!

Hope these tips are helpful as we get down to crunch time and offer you some solace that you aren’t alone! Everyone is feeling the heat and if you work hard to get (and stay) in a groove, it will make camp that much sweeter when it finally arrives!

Want to continue the conversation? Email me at [email protected] or find me on Facebook and Instagram.

We know it’s been awhile and you’ve all been waiting anxiously for more of our awesome content from our unbelievably talented faculty and contributors. Well, we heard you and we are going to come through weekly with timely posts that we hope will educate, illuminate, entertain and sometimes, laugh a little!

In the spirit of the holiday season (Happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate!), here is an article from Dr. Chris Thurber that might give you some perspective to make it through your shopping lists with a little extra humor and goodwill. Enjoy!

Lead Me Not Into Temptation

I offered to watch my 8-year-old’s belongings tonight at Gate B8. From across the hall, he had seen the Chicago Museum of Natural History store in O’Hare.

We could both see the realistic looking stuffed animals, including arctic foxes, ring-tailed lemurs, and three-toed sloths. (Beanie Babies are so‘90’s and Webkins are so 2010, don’t you know?) In fact, the shelves were full of cool toys, from quartz crystals to books on Egyptology.

“You can go over there while I stay here with our stuff,” I said to Sava. “I can see you from here,” I added reassuringly.

He thought for a long moment. “Will you buy me something?” he asked, repeating the mantra of most elementary school children who have grown up in a commercialized culture.

“No,” I said reflexively. Then I offered my rationale: “You have enough stuffed animals already. Plus, Christmas is next week. Who knows what you’ll get?”

I blanched at how much I sounded like my own parents. Didn’t we all promise ourselves as teenagers that we wouldn’t become our parents? Now that I have, at least in part, I don’t know whether to be appalled or resigned.

I snapped out of my self-analysis and added my original, refreshing spin on parenting: “If you see something you really like, you could get it with your own money.”

This was a calculated statement, of course, since I know my children are far less likely to spend their own savings than mine. Funny thing.

“I better not go over there,” Sava said. “I’ll just be tempted.”

Man, I’d like to bottle that. In my clinical psychologist’s world, half the teenagers I see have gotten themselves into a jam ceding to temptation.

Choose your flavor of stress: academic, social, parental, athletic, physical, disciplinary. Some of it is caused by forces outside of adolescents’ control, but a good chunk results from giving in to short-term pleasure in the form of drugs, video games, hook-ups (online and off), and gossip.

Who knows whether Sava will be able to resist these tantalizing teen turn-ons. I’m not even sure how he does it now. But my hunch is that giving youngsters some measure of autonomy at a young age—which we do so well at camp—helps them better understand the consequences of their actions.

The word consequences has a negative connotation for many, but young people must also experience the many positive consequences of their actions. Especially important is enjoying the rewarding results of a long-term effort.

I often wonder whether Sava’s playing the violin—wherein it takes hours of practice over many days to learn a new piece—helps him delay gratification in other arenas. My guess is that cultivating forbearance does generalize, at any age.

The holy grail of parenting, of course, is providing appropriate supports and opportunities in life while somehow attaining the balance between freedom and restriction. It’s an ideal we all strive for but never quite reach. I guess that’s why it’s called youth development not youth accomplishment.

So here we are now on our flight from Chicago to Seattle, without a fox, lemur, or sloth. Chalk one up to impulse control. Maybe it’s a harbinger of mature self-regulation.

With some combination of luck and my continued effort, Sava won’t become anxious, get into academic trouble, develop an eating disorder, acquire an STD, or get kicked out of school. Resist those temptations, baby.

Now, if I could just get him off my iPad we could both get some sleep.

 

Dr. Christopher Thurber serves on the faculty of Phillips Exeter Academy, a coeducational boarding high school. He is also the father of two boys and author of the best-selling Summer Camp Handbook. In 2007, Chris co-founded ExpertOnlineTraining.com, with a vision to become the world leader in online education for youth development professionals. Additional resources for camps, schools and families can be found on CampSpirit.com. To book workshops or contact Chris directly, e-mail [email protected].

Computer Coding: A Necessary Skill of Today

The first thing that comes to mind when one hears of computer coding is that it’s the stuff that’s reserved for the geeks, or in some cases, the smartest of minds. Well, that might be true a decade ago, but thanks to the many developments over the years, learning how to code has become easier and more convenient for everyone.

Computer coding finally made it into the mainstream. Everyone can learn it as long as you have enough patience, focus, and diligence. In fact, coding isn’t anymore treated as a hobby but has now become a critical career skill. Becoming a computer coder or programmer has even become one of the highest paying and most in-demand jobs out there.

Knowing all this might make you wonder if coding is something you might consider. If you’re curious about the matter, then we suggest you read on. We’ve got all the stuff you need to learn why coding is the next big thing of the modern generation.

• Digital Age

Let’s face it. We’re living in the digital age where almost all things are controlled by technology. Computers are now everywhere, and almost every activity is done with the aid of devices. Well, it turns out that all these devices wouldn’t exist without computer coding.

It’s these codes that enable these devices to follow human commands. Learning coding opens you to a whole bunch of opportunity and scope that’ll surely benefit you in the long run.

• Financial Bliss

Most, if not everyone, wants a financially blissful life. Financial success is what all people want. Yes, there are a lot of careers that’ll make the journey to a million bucks easier, and one of those is by being a computer coder.

According to a study, the average annual salary that a programmer earns is $80,000, which by all means, is high pay. Learning coding also means that you can go solo and start a business. You don’t need to have a day job and work ‘round the clock confined in an office.

Apply your coding skills to your business, create an app, sell it, or perhaps develop software that’ll make your business processes more efficient. The sky’s the limit when you learn how to code. Being a freelance coder is also a good idea because there are now a growing number of clients who are willing to pay a premium for app developers.

• Critical Thinking

Computer coding isn’t learned overnight. You need time to perfect the craft because it’s all about solving problems through trial and error. In short, this trains your brain to function at its best. This helps you to do better in other areas of your work or your personal life.

Through time, you’ll develop a mindset that is focused on approaching problems one step at a time while processing large chunks of information without getting stressed too much. Learning how to code isn’t just learning a computer language as it’s also about developing a productive and efficient mindset that is geared towards solving even the most complex of problems.

 

In simpler words, coding makes you smarter.

• Career Flexibility

Learning the ins and outs of computer coding makes you a more flexible professional. This is very important, especially that we’re living in a rapidly-shifting economy that’s controlled by technology.

“Coding is becoming increasingly important as a life skill, and should be taught in the early parts of schooling. In fact, coding is now just as important as math and science.” According to the CEO of Codakid, David Dodge.

And it doesn’t matter if you’re a programmer or not, because even if it’s not part of your job, you’re still most likely to interact and work with a coder. Learning to code makes you a more valuable team-player.

• Final Verdict

With all this being said, you can clearly see how important it is for you to learn to code. You might want to learn it for fun, as a hobby, or perhaps to progress in your career. Whatever the reason is, rest assured that mastering this skill is the way-to-go if career fulfillment, financial bliss, and improved overall productivity are what you’re after.

Just make sure that you’re ready to go out of your comfort zone, be passionate with what you’re doing, and most of all, be prepared for a brighter future ahead. Indeed, learning coding is the future.

If you want to talk to Holly about this topic, email her at [email protected].

And, if you have any ideas for the Blog or anything else Expert Online Training related, email Professor Dave at ProfessorDave.camp.

I was lucky enough to go out on a school night this week and see a truly outstanding performance by an unbelievable performer, Maceo Parker. If you don’t know who he is, find some of his music (there is a link at the bottom of this post) or just think P-Funk, James Brown, Ray Charles and other legends. At 75, this man didn’t disappoint and had the audience raptured from the second he got onstage.

What does this have to do with camp? Well, besides being a saxophone virtuoso who can also sing, dance and play the flute (really well!), Maceo exhibited all the characteristics of leadership that we should all aspire to as leaders at camp. You may want to share these important lessons with your Leadership/Supervisors as well.

Recognizing the Band

Maceo is obviously the featured performer and has the pedigree that makes him an absolute rock star. His charisma, energy and talent could easily turn him into a leader who garners all the attention and accolades. However, he was incredibly giving and modest when it came to his band. He gave them each the time to shine as individuals and encouraged them throughout the show to play their best. He mentioned their names over and over and stepped off the stage repeatedly to give them the full spotlight. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t conducting the action, he just valued the individual, unique talents of each member of his team and made sure they were given time to shine.

The Show Must Go On

About an hour through the first set, Maceo paused to let us know he was going to try to hit a high note and his cold might get in the way. Now, up until this point there was absolutely no indication that he was feeling ill and everyone in the room would agree he was giving 100% of his mind, body and soul through his performance. As leaders at camp, no matter how tired, frustrated, sick or overwhelmed we are, it is imperative to put of all that aside and hit the “stage” with high energy, positive attitudes and our best selves.

Spread the Love

One of the highlights of this show was Maceo and the band’s exuberance and absolute joy being in front of a small audience in a venue much more modest than they were probably used to after years of success. The theme of the night was an overwhelming declaration of love: for the audience, the musicians on stage, the crew who helped run the show and, most importantly, love for the world. If we could all bring just a fraction of this unwavering positive attitude driven by Maceo’s grateful nature, our camps would be that much better.

Maceo Parker exemplifies the best in leadership and is a shining example of the power of bringing your best, most authentic self at all times. You set the tone at all times and need to hold yourself accountable to ensure all your stakeholders feel confident in you as a the band leader.

Dave “Professor Dave” Malter is a faculty member with Expert Online Training and a camp enthusiast who works with youth development organizations across the country on staff training, employee engagement and leadership. If you are interested in talking more about developing your team or other staff training issues, please head over to www.professordave.camp and sign-up up for a FREE 30-minute Phone/Skype consultation.

To get a taste of Maceo Parker and his exceptional leadership, check out this video: https://youtu.be/3_0alsFnxwI.

After a busy Summer spent happily disconnected, a close friend suggested I watch Hard Knocks which follows an NFL team throughout training camp. I am constantly evaluating how what I’m watching/reading applies to the importance of company culture and employee engagement and he success of organizations. One of the coaches pointed to a saying on the wall in the training facility which reads, “The road to success is always under construction” as he made the point that all of the players in the room were essential “workers” as they build a successful team.

As you consider your own road to success, there are 3 major obstacles that you have to avoid and which make building a successful and thriving organization a priority no matter your size or scope. The 3 reasons you should be focused on building a team that stays together are:

1.      Cost of Hiring…Studies have shown that the cost of replacing a full-time employee is 6-9 months of their salary. This means that if you have someone making 40k a year, the cost to hire their replacement is between 20-30k between recruiting and training expenses. For employees that are making $10/hr who leave your organization, it still costs over 3k to fill that position.

2.      Number of Job Changes…More bad news when it comes to the cost of hiring. Companies aren’t doing a good job keeping employees. In the United States, employees spend an average of only 4.4 years at their job. It seems like incurring the expense of recruiting and training staff isn’t necessarily paying off.

3.      Disengaged Employees…There is an increasing amount of research showing that only 30 percent of employees in this country are fully engaged with their company and the work they are doing. This is a number that’s been steadily declining over the past several years and the results are directly related to the statistics above.

So…what do we do about it? How can we make our organizations high functioning, profitable and desirable. Here are 7 foundational elements that will begin to tackle the important task of building a successful, lasting team:

Mission

Let’s be honest for a minute…most of your employees care very little about the mission you are communicating to your customer. Your employees are focused more inward and want to have something to strive towards that directly affects their feelings of engagement. I’ve been advising clients to develop missions that are directly focused on your employees. That “Employee Mission” is still related to your overall organizational mission and galvanizes each team member to take ownership of a common goal.

Culture

For a couple of years, I’ve been advocating for the development of a Culture of Giving which is basically providing opportunities for employees to recognize each other. Studies by Disney and other large, successful organizations show that developing a flourishing peer-to-peer recognition program is the Number One key to a successful team across all industries.

Knowledge

It’s time to let the secrets out! Instead of worrying about someone taking your job because they know too much, share the knowledge so they feel trusted and can make better decisions while taking more initiative. Instead of viewing curiosity as a threat, get everyone on the same page so the work gets done more efficiently and with a greater sense of purpose.

Mentor

Provide your young employees (or anyone who needs it) with someone in the organization who will provide them with the tools to succeed and grow. And, make it a real piece of your employee training/benefit program by developing a curriculum, goals and scheduled follow-ups/reporting.

Shared Goals

Do you know what your employees goals are both in their professional and personal lives? Are there ways you can actively support those goals while advancing the needs of your organization? Find ways to help your employees develop and reach their own goals while encouraging them to also help others do the same.

Risk

If you provide employees the tools including the elements above, they should feel free to take measured risks in decision making or innovative thinking. You should instill a culture that encourages employees to take initiative without fear of ridicule or job insecurity.

Opportunity

If you are dealing with that “4 year career” employee more then you should or are struggling to build a cohesive unit, chances are opportunity is a big reason. Most people who switch jobs or feel disengaged express that they feel stuck in their position. They don’t even know what they can do next and have real fear that they are stuck for the foreseeable future. It’s incredibly important to have an open discussion about what your progression plan is for each employee and how they can get there!

If you are interested in talking more about developing your team or other staff training issues, please head over to professordave.camp and sign-up up for a FREE 30-minute Phone/Skype consultation.

Here are some resources I reference above:

https://www.zanebenefits.com/blog/bid/312123/Employee-Retention-The-Real-Cost-of-Losing-an-Employee

https://www.fastcompany.com/1802731/four-year-career

As we begin the off-season work of looking at the totality of our Summer programs, it’s imperative to objectively critique our Behavior Management plans including Bullying Prevention and Awareness. If you are lucky enough to interact with other youth development professionals throughout the year at conferences or other meet-ups, you may have access to some resources focused on this topic. Many of us are not that lucky and depend on information we come across, our own experiences or a keen sense of confidence that we are handling these situations well. Regardless to your access to information/training, unfortunately, bullying has become a more complex issue that requires an increased sense of awareness and self-reflection to make sure you are truly prepared to handle these delicate and potentially dangerous situations. Below you will find 3 Best Practices in thinking about your Bullying Prevention and Awareness policies and procedures now:

FIND AN EXPERT

Here at Expert Online Training, we are lucky to have several faculty who work tirelessly on helping young people and their caretakers cope with Bullying issues, both preventative and corrective. While these are wonderful resources to use with your staff, it would also make sense to find an expert you trust to help you first understand this ever-changing issue and then begin to develop a plan for your specific organization. Engaging with someone who has dedicated their life’s work to mitigating the problems associated with Bullying will help eliminate misconceptions and possible omissions in your policy.

ENGAGE WITH YOUR COMMUNITY

There are two pieces to this best practice that work together to develop a sense of safety and care in your community. First, contact your local university or school district and ask if there is a professional who they use to speak to parents, teachers and students. I would even say you should ask to see this person live and determine if their message on Bullying matches with the type of culture you hope to create. Once you find someone who you feel comfortable bringing to your organization, engage with that person about the plausibility of coming speak to your families. The next piece is to invite your parents and campers to come to camp (or a central location) and hear from this professional who will tailor a message specific to your stakeholders. This will be an excellent learning opportunity for your community and deliver an important message about your intolerance for this type of behavior and  it’s place as a priority for you.

OPEN THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION

Partnering with parents is one of the most important pieces of running a successful youth development program. Oftentimes, as professionals, under our breaths we wish parents weren’t “so involved” and would just let us do our jobs. I propose that when it comes to Bullying, we need to reverse course and open the lines of communication. Let parents know that this is an issue you are taking seriously by providing community learning opportunities like I described above or other resources that keep parents informed about the work you’re doing to keep their children safe. You should also ask parents to share with you any concerns they have throughout the year about any interactions between campers. By involving your most important ally, parents, you will begin an ongoing,productive conversation that will clarify your stance on Bullying Prevention and Tolerance.

The best practices mentioned above are just the start of developing a comprehensive plan to handle bullying in our organization. This work is important and takes the dedication to view it as a continuous work in progress. If you find the right resources and are open to learning from experts, parents and even campers, you will find success manifested by a welcoming, caring community.

Dave “Professor Dave” Malter is a long time camper who is now a grown-up camp enthusiast. He is an educator, consultant and trainer who works with camps on many issues pertinent to camp culture, staff development, leadership and safety.

To learn more about Professor Dave head to his website (www.professordave.camp) or send him an email @ [email protected].

As the summer glow fades and we begin to think about next summer, the talk inevitably turns to how camps will manage camper behavior next summer. The world is certainly changing rapidly with increased access to technology, agonizing social pressures and the race-for-success at school. The one constant is that camp is a place to put all of this aside and enter a world of supervised risk-taking, freedom and self-discovery. While we want to encourage young people to feel “freer” at camp, there is still a need to ensure their safety and positive relationship building by training our staff how to manage behavior.

Here are 5 Best Practices to incorporate as you begin to plan how to approach training your staff on this critically important aspect of camp.

MANAGE, NOT CHANGE

Dr. Matt Pulewitz (http://www.drmattpsych.com/), a clinical psychologist and good friend who works with many camps, consistently delivers the message to staff that they can only aim to manage behavior and NOT change behavior. Our job as youth development professionals is to make sure young people live within the rules we have in place for the length of time we are responsible for them. For example, we can encourage and guide our campers to make their beds every morning even if they don’t do this at home. We can’t expect that when they get home making their beds every day continues (if they do, you’ll have lots of very happy parents).

MISSION

As you begin to discuss the values that are associated with the behavior you hope to see at camp (no bullying, sharing, etiquette in the dining hall, etc.), you must make sure that they match the Mission of your camp. These are not independent and will help you explain your behavior management plan to your parents. If parents understand that your behavior management plan is rooted in your camp philosophy, their level of trust and will only grow.

BEHAVIOR PLANS

I’ve gotten a lot of questions lately about behavior plans and how to work these into your Behavior Management plan. I am huge proponent that behavior plans should be reactions to specific camper actions that don’t meet your camp’s philosophy and/or tolerance and NOT threats to the general camp population. These plans should be individualized and parents should be your partners in creating these documents and reinforcing any further consequences.

NATURAL CONSEQUENCES

The biggest mistake frontline staff make when trying to manage groups is giving consequences that don’t help mitigate the behavior. Too often, we hear counselors take away “flashlight time” at night because a camper doesn’t do their job in the bunk during clean-up in the morning. It’s imperative that we teach and continue to reinforce to staff the appropriate way to dole out consequences that are meaningful and timely.

HELICOPTER COUNSELORS

Much like helicopter parents, we often encounter helicopter counselors who feel so much pressure that they don’t allow campers to take the calculated risks we encourage at camp. Staff need to be reminded that it’s ok to let some behavior go as long as it doesn’t jeopardize safety (or go against the mission). Not every “issue” is a big deal and everyone will have a better experience if counselors let campers just be kids.

To learn more about Professor Dave head to his website (www.professordave.camp) or send him an email @ [email protected].

I consider myself incredibly lucky to spend my days talking and thinking about camp…it’s awesome! I am constantly thinking about, discussing and researching ways to improve on the already impressive work we are doing at our camps from staff training to meals to program. Having the opportunity to then take all the background work I’ve done and helping camps implement those ideas is inspirational.

Creative Control

I was having coffee the other day with a young lady who is thinking about becoming a member of our camp professional club. She has a fire and passion for camp and she just wanted to make an informed decision seeing as she wants this to be THE career move. We talked about a lot of different topics, she had some really insightful questions, and at some point we got onto this idea of the differences between working as part of a large, politically driven organization (like the university she was currently working for) as opposed to working in a camp setting. What amplified this for her even more is that she is a creative, motivated thinker who wants to move quickly and “get things done and make an impact”. This is a topic I’ve thought about often as I went in the opposite direction a few years ago…I moved from a privately-owned day camp to a university setting and was hit with some culture shock. At camp, we are able to move at a pace that is unlike any other industry I’ve been exposed to. If you have an idea, can prove its value and there is little risk then you are encouraged to be ambitious and take ownership of implementing that idea. Yes, there are stakeholders who need to give a final “stamp of approval” and it is just so much easier to garner autonomy in the camp world. I recall trying to get approval for a redesign of a flyer highlighting the courses we offered at the university shortly after leaving camp and it took 3 MONTHS!!! Not 3 days like camp, 3 MONTHS! As I thought more about this conversation and others I’ve had recently with camps, I wondered if are we really living up to that standard of a creativity and exploration we espouse?

Freedom to Innovate

Unlike other industries and especially the primary/secondary teaching world, camps have the unbelievable opportunity to innovate in the ways we educate young people, campers and staff. As long as we meet the standards of safety so campers are emotionally and physically safe, we have the ability to be at the forefront of teaching life skills to our campers and staff. However, May comes every year and no matter how long we’ve been running camp, a little bit of panic sets in as we realize campers are coming in less than 60 days.  The conversations I have with a camp (client or just a friend), become less, “Dave, I really want to try (____) this summer and let’s talk about how I can do that!” and more, “Dave, I really wanted to try (____) this summer but it’s too late and I’m just going to do it the way I did it last summer. Maybe we can try to innovate next year.” I’d like to challenge you to rethink the idea that because of all the “big ticket” items that need to be done you can’t innovate your staff training, for example, and will just succumb to last year being good enough. I have a challenge for all of us as May creeps up.

Small Changes Make Big Impact

I got a message from a camp friend recently who is known to ask me to help with no real warning (I don’t mind and appreciate the challenge!). She was working on developing her Staff Training and wanted to get my feedback on an exercise we’ve probably all heard of or done ourselves. Here is how the conversation went down:

Camp Friend: I want our Division Leaders to write a letter to their future selves to be opened in the Fall and the goal would be to have them highlighting all of the great things we hope/expect from them. I can’t quite figure out the best way to articulate it. Any tools? If I subscribe to the KISS method then the following should work: If you were to write a short letter to your future self, reflecting on Summer 2017, what would it say?

Now, many of you have done this exercise before and it’s probably worked sometimes and other times, you’ve forgotten to follow-up. Regardless, it’s fine and she could continue to present this exercise exactly this way.

However, if she just invested a couple of minutes, she could take this exercise to a whole new level!

My response: I would say be more specific and ask the following questions/prompts: 1. What are your 3 goals for this summer? 2. Identify 3 ways you will grow as a leader? 3. Name 3 ways you want campers and staff to describe you at the end of the summer. 4. What are 3 ways you hope to change personally through your experience at camp?

Easy, right? We turned an OK exercise into a dynamic, meaningful piece of the staff training program.  I am not suggesting you scrap your plan for staff training or develop anything otherworldly that is beyond everyone’s capability. All you need is the belief that even the small changes will help you innovate and change your camp on a large scale. And, you can always ask a friend!

Any Questions? Reach out to me at ProfessorDave.Camp or Schedule a 30 minute Phone/Skype Meeting Here!

“Other People Matter”- Chris Peterson March 20th was The International Day of Happiness. In celebration, throughout the month of March, I received emails sharing ways to increase my happiness. What struck me was that none of the emails suggested buying a pair of expensive shoes or a box of chocolates. Instead, the focus, and rightly so, was on what Positive Psychologist, Chris Peterson, meant by saying, “Other People Matter.” By making other people matter, happiness in the truest and deepest sense of the word is achieved.  When I think about what truly makes me “happy” and gives life meaning, it is my connection to and my ability to help others. I feel incredibly privileged that as a psychologist I “get to” focus on helping others. However, not all of us have those types of jobs. So even if you don’t have a helping job, here are three easy ways based on my three favorite musicals that will allow you to turn a day of happiness into a lifetime of happiness. “Talk Less, Smile More” – “Aaron Burr, Sir,” Hamilton: An American Musical I must confess that seeing Hamilton for a normal price made me very happy. However, not all of us are that fortunate. But, all of us can learn from a line from the song, “Aaron Burr, Sir.” In this song, Aaron Burr encourages Hamilton to “talk less, smile more.” When we are in the presence of smiling people, we feel happy. The underlying, neurological reason for this reaction is that we all have mirror neurons. Mirror neurons mirror back the emotions of others. The converse is also true. When we are surrounded by anger or yelling (a form of talking), we mirror that emotional energy as well. So how can we use mirror neurons to our advantage? We can smile. At school, I smile and say, “Hi” to all. I have trained the kids so that when they see me, they also smile and say “hello.” The exchange of smiles and hellos starts our days off on the right foot. It’s so easy and costs nothing, so if you want to increase happiness in yourself, family, or the larger community, say “hello” with a big smile and let it be contagious. “Can Anybody See, Is Anybody Waving Back At Me?” – “Waving Through A Window,” Dear Evan Hansen the Musical As a psychologist, I am often struck by how many children, teens, and adults feel that they are “tap, tap, tapping on a glass” but that no one is waving back at them. The need to belong is universal. Without it, we feel lost, adrift, and often depressed. So what can you do? Be inviting. Make an effort to be inclusive. Be the person who looks out for others. All of us live busy lives and it is often the case that people don’t mean to avoid waving back. However, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all made a concerted effort to be a person who initiates the waving and also waves back? “Because I Knew You, I have Been Changed For Good”- “For Good,” Wicked the Musical I have listened to this song a billion times (my daughter will confirm this fact). What is it about this song that touches me? And, what does this song have to do with happiness? The song resonates with me because I have found that through helping others, I have been changed for good. So how can you help others? Small things – like opening the door for someone or saying “thank you” to the person who serves you coffee or the colleague who helps you at work – allow you to be a change for good. For the last six years, on the last Sunday of the month, you will find my daughter, my dog Brandy, and me at the United Hebrew Home of New Rochelle. We will be smiling, and tap, tap, tapping on the door, and asking patients, “Would you like a visit from our therapy dog, Brandy?”  What I have discovered is that bringing happiness to others and especially watching my daughter bring happiness to others is incredibly rewarding and creates more happiness than any box of chocolate or pair of sparkly shoes. My challenge for you is that even though The International Day for Happiness has passed, let’s maintain the ripple effect of happiness by smiling more, waving back, and being the good you wish to see in the world. Please see my website (drbaruchfeldman.com) for information about my upcoming book, titled, “The Grit Guide for Teens”.

Lessons from the Road

I recently had the privilege of speaking at CODACON and Campminder Camp 8 in Boulder, CO. My wife, Pam, was there representing her camp and learning more about Campminder (and also supporting me). After the conference, we rented a 1995 VW Eurovan and lived in it for 18 days. It is the first time we ever tried living the RV lifestyle and honestly, we LOVED the entire trip!

Of course, as we were on the road I couldn’t stop thinking about camp and the clients I work with who are always eager to learn. We got home this past weekend and I started processing this trip from a different perspective so I could make this experience relatable to my camp friends.

The National Parks STAFF

While we were traveling, the political landscape in our country changed a bit and being somewhat disconnected (no TV News, “fake” or real), it didn’t really affect us much. The only time I really thought about the changes going on was while we visited the National Parks and the threat of de-funding these institutions. Let me tell you, the parks are gorgeous on their own and the STAFF are really what makes them special. There were several highlights I took from these visits:

• Even in these quiet times, the parks are kept absolutely spotless. There is so much pride evident in the upkeep of the facilities.
• The Rangers who work at these Visitor Centers/Parks are completely committed to their jobs. You can tell that they just want to preserve the natural resources we have and also help us enjoy these spectacular monuments.
• From a facilities standpoint…the signage around the parks are super helpful and well thought out. It was really easy to find what we were looking for and understand what we were looking at.

This country is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL

Our busy lives don’t always allow us to get out of our “comfort zones” and we really should get moving! As we drove our 2600 miles in 18 days, we were bombarded with tremendous beauty. At times we were actually overwhelmed and couldn’t take it all in. It really made me value the incredible assets we all take for granted. Turn your phone off and take a hike one day in a nearby state park or your own camp property and just soak it all in, you’ll be amazed at what you see that may have been in front of you the whole time.

We need LESS

I am a confessed consumer, especially when it comes to technology and books, and knew before this trip that I had a lot of “stuff”. What I came to find out on this trip that life is sweeter when it’s simpler and most of the trappings of our “city” life are unnecessary and only serve to make life more complicated. On the road, we found ourselves climbing into bed (the back of our Camper Van!) at 8:30 every night and taking time to just read, talk or go to sleep. We were up way earlier in the morning then we ever are at home and it felt awesome to get on the road and start exploring every day with tons of extra daylight in front of us. We quickly figured out that we overpacked and could have both survived this trip with half of what we brought with us. This turned into an enthusiastic and really big purge the day after we came home. We donated a full truckload to the local Goodwill and tested the capacity of the Philly garbage trucks. And, we aren’t done yet!

The RIGHT PARTNER

As with anything, the person by your side changes your entire experience (for better or worse). This journey wouldn’t have been as meaningful, fun, exciting, well-planned or positive without the ultimate road trip partner, my wife, Pam. We complement each other in all the right ways and each have qualities that make up for each other’s weaknesses. She is definitely the risk taker and I am measured and risk averse (she’ll tell you it’s because I am older!) and that balance was important throughout the trip. She is great about getting me outside of my comfort zone and pushing me beyond my own limits with what I like to call “supportive, tough love”. My role is usually to be the voice of reason and rationalize why something might not be the best idea despite the vision she had of how the situation would end.

Some closing thoughts…think about all of my discoveries in terms of your camp, camp community, and the people you work with. There are a lot of important lessons I am taking from this experience that I will hopefully be able to share in upcoming conferences/consultations and hopefully you appreciate the takeaways from our journey.

Professor Dave

Professordave.camp