All posts by David Malter

HAPPY NEW YEAR! To A Year that Is Positive and Full of Purpose

It’s that time of year when people reflect and set “new goals” or “New Year’s resolutions” for themselves. As you can imagine, it is easy to make New Year’s resolutions, but much more difficult to complete them. When I reflect on the goals that I have been able to maintain or the goals my patients have been able to achieve, the following three strategies were most effective.

1. Make it Positive.

The best way to accomplish a goal is to operate from a place of “yes” rather than from a place of “no.” To see how this is true, try doing some simple exercises with me.

First, shake your head “no.” When you shake your head “no,” what do you feel? Now, nod your head “yes.” What feelings arise? If you are like most people, when you shook your head “no,” you might have felt the muscles in your face tighten, an increase in negative emotions, and even a tendency to take a step back. However, shaking your head “yes” is often accompanied by feelings of peace, acceptance, and happiness. So what does positivity have to do with accomplishing a goal? We often try to accomplish a goal by telling ourselves “no”— no more cake, no more hitting my younger sister, no more feeling anxious. However, when we focus on the no, it is human nature to fight it (we actually take a step back). By focusing on the “yes,” or the positive benefits of changing a behavior, you will find it easier to achieve your goals.

2. Shine a light and keep the light on the goal.

It often feels like we have an “angel” and a “devil” on our shoulders directing our behavior in very different directions. The “angel,” often in a quiet voice, encourages us to take actions that will meet our long-term goals, whereas the “devil” voice, almost without thinking, pushes us to give in to what feels good in the moment. So what can we do to beat that devil voice? Keep your goals front and center.

Two ways I have found to keep your goals front and center are by using Advantage Cards and/or a daruma doll. An Advantage Card, a technique I learned from attending a workshop on CBT strategies for weight loss given by Dr. Judith Beck, lists all the advantages of accomplishing your goal. However, it is not enough to make an Advantage Card, you must also commit to reading it every day. By reading your Advantage Card, you are reminding yourself consciously of why accomplishing your goal is so important to you. (To learn more about Advantage cards go to https://beckdietsolution.wordpress.com/).

A daruma is a Japanese doll created for goal setting: you color one eye to set the goal and when the goal is completed, you color in the second. While working on your goal, the one-eyed daruma watches you and serves as an ongoing reminder of what you are trying to achieve. My patients have used darumas to help them be more organized, lose weight, or speak more respectfully towards their parents. I have used a daruma to help me stay out of the kitchen at night and complete my manuscript for my upcoming book on teen grit. (See daruma website for more information -http://www.welovedaruma.com/en/about_daruma.html).

3. Make it easier to reach your goal and harder to fail.

In his book, Before Happiness: Five Actionable Strategies to Create a Positive Path to Success, psychologist Shawn Achor writes about wanting to run more and watch less television. So what did he do to accomplish this goal? He took the batteries out of his remote control and slept in his running clothes. Think about what you can do to make it easier to achieve the behavior you want.

First, do not take on too many goals. Instead, focus on changing one area or one behavior at a time. Break your goal down into small, manageable steps so your overall goal does not seem overwhelming, especially at the beginning when you are the most likely to give up. Pre-commit and make it public. Pre-committing makes it more difficult to change your mind. For example, I write down in my planner the classes I am taking at the gym that week. By making it public (sharing your goal on social media) or by having an accountability partner who will keep you on your toes, you are much more likely to follow the “angel” voice. We are also much more successful when we set up our environment in a way that promotes our goals instead of thinking we can put ourselves in a tempting environment and not give in. For example, I have been trying not to eat late at night. I found I was much more successful when I did not go into the kitchen after 8pm instead of thinking I could just go into the kitchen and not be tempted. Remember, everyone messes up sometimes. But, often when people get off track they overreact, turning a small problem into a bigger one, or by blowing off the rest of their goal. In this way, a simple lapse can end up causing more damage. Instead, acknowledge the lapse, but give yourself credit for getting back on track.

Just one last thought- instead of just focusing on what your goal will mean to you, see if you can connect your goal to a higher purpose. Ask yourself, how can my goal not just benefit myself, but others as well? When we are passionate about our goals and can tie them to something outside of ourselves – we can truly SOAR!

Wishing you a happy and a healthy NEW YEAR – a year full of successes.

Please check out my website at DrBaruchFeldman.com for additional blogs, articles, and presentations.
Follow me on twitter: @carenfeldman

Being Grateful

It’s that’s time of year (Thanksgiving), when many of us take a moment to focus on what we are grateful for. For as long as I can remember, it has been a tradition in my family that my mother goes around the Thanksgiving table and asks each of us (grown-ups and kids) what we are grateful for. For a long time, this question elicited some eye rolling by me, even though I should have been past eye rolling. Why does focusing on what we grateful for often bring out the cynics in us and, more importantly, what can we do to banish this cynicism.

It’s the human condition to focus on the negative: the wet towels left on the floor, the less than kind response from a boss or spouse, and the many things that have been left undone in our busy lives. These negative thoughts can often dominate our thinking. However, we need to make a conscious effort to counter this negative bias and instead shine a light on what is working and good in our lives. We know that what we focus on is what we see and react to so we need to make a concerted effort not to get caught up in negative messages and feelings. As I have written about before, we have “mirror neurons,” the pathways in our brain that connect us to other people. When we are positive and grateful, this attitude will rub off on each other. Conversely, when we are negative and contentious with each other, that attitude and behavior will dominate. Both our positive and negative energy bounce off each other. So my question to you is, how do we see the best in ourselves and others so that we can create a positive, instead of a negative, ripple effect?

One suggestion, is to actively engage in gratitude exercises. Just like engaging in weight training exercises builds our muscles, engaging in gratitude exercises builds our ability to see the best in ourselves and others and leads to overall more positive feelings. I recently shared and participated in a gratitude activity (https://ideas.classdojo.com/b/gratitude) with my students. In this activity, each of us (including me) picked a person from a hat and then shared with that individual what we were grateful for in them. Both sharing and receiving these words of kindness and well wishes was uplifting and brought a smile to all our faces, a smile that lasts even as I write about this experience. So, at our Thanksgiving tables this year, let’s all make a commitment to focus on what we are grateful for and to lead lives which focus on the positive and see the best in one another.

My warmest wishes to you and your family for a peaceful Thanksgiving holiday. And, let’s all make a commitment to less eye rolling!


Feeling extremely grateful that my forthcoming book is now on PRE-ORDER. To order please go to: https://www.amazon.com/Grit-Guide-Teens-Perseverance-Self-Control/dp/1626258562/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479599837&sr=8-1&keywords=teen+grit 

Please check out my website at DrBaruchFeldman.com for additional blogs, articles, and presentations.
Follow me on twitter: @carenfeldman

Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman's Very Own Psychological Top Ten List

 

I had a choice this month, break my habit of writing a blog each month or share one of my favorite blogs from the past. I chose to keep my habit going and share a favorite blog. With 1 hour left in the month, here are some of my favorite things (10 of them). These ideas still resonate with me, I hope they resonate with you! Enjoy 🙂

I created my very own top 10 list. This list is a mix of some of the best quotes, videos, books, and ideas that have inspired me. I hope they inspire you as well.

1. “It all starts and ends with a positive relationship” by Caren Baruch-Feldman.

I recently watched a Ted Talk by Rita Pierson. She states, “Kids don’t learn from people they don’t like.” Therefore, before you do anything as a parent or as a teacher, make sure that a positive relationship has been established.

Check out the following Ted Talk. After watching it you will see the power of relationships and be inspired.
https://www.ted.com/talks/rita_pierson_every_kid_needs_a_champion?language=en

In addition, if you want to read a book that will inspire you to establish a positive relationship, read any book by Dr. Robert Brooks. Dr. Brooks writes, and more importantly lives his life, based on this philosophy.

2. “Change your thoughts and you change your world” by Norman Vincent Peale.

As many of you know, I am a big believer in mindset.  We don’t always have control over our situation, but we do always have control over our thoughts. In an inspirational Ted Talk given by Dr. Kelly McGonigal, she demonstrates how to make stress our friend by changing our mindset.

https://kellymcgonigal.com/2014/11/15/watch-my-ted-talk-how-to-make-stress-your-friend/

If you want to learn more from Dr. McGonigal, I highly recommend her latest book, The Upside of Stress and her audiotape The Neuroscience of Change.

3. “If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier” by Amy Poehler (the comedian) from Yes Please.

I often find that people who expect life to follow a straight and sturdy path are frustrated and disappointed. However, if you expect life to be more like a wave you need to surf, you will be less disappointed and more at peace. One way to get more comfortable with the waves of life is to meditate. I think you will enjoy this video on the power of meditation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ1-Nj3vcXY

4. Be gritty and develop a growth mindset. (Dr. Angela Duckworth and Dr. Carol Dweck).

If something is not accomplished, don’t give up. In addition, change a “fixed mindset” to a “growth mindset.” Furthermore, remember the power of the word “yet.” For example, instead of saying, “I am not good at fractions,” say, “I am not good at fractions YET.”  Two videos on this topic are a must.

https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit (grit)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-swZaKN2Ic (yet)

5. “It is easier to change our surroundings than ourselves” by Gretchen Rubin.

In the words of my mentor Dr. Albert Ellis, we are fallible human beings.  So to change a habit or ourselves, we must work to change our surroundings, rather than try to conquer willpower.  Simply put, make it easy to be good and hard to be bad.  Dr. Shawn Achor gives a great example in his book the Happiness Advantage, where he speaks about taking the batteries out of his TV remote and sleeping in his gym clothes  in order to make it easier to run and harder to watch  TV.  In addition, if you want an effective and an evidenced based strategy to change habits, WOOP it out (Dr. Gabriele Oettingen). See link below for more information on WOOP.

https://characterlab.org/goal-setting

I highly recommend: Shawn Achor’s Happiness Advantage and Gabriele Oettingen’s Rethinking Positive Thinking.

6. Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important by Stephen Covey from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

It is very easy to get busy with unimportant but SUPPOSEDLY URGENT matters (emails, texts, whining). Don’t! Instead, spend time on things that are meaningful, but not necessarily urgent (e.g., reading to your children, connecting with old friends, meditating).

7. Drop the leash and watch those mirror neurons.

When someone throws you negative energy, don’t grab that leash. We tend to mirror the emotions so it is easy to get pulled into a negative cycle of emotions. Instead, mirror back to the person the way you want to be seen and remembered by taking a step back, breathing, and remembering what is important.

8. Let it GO.

In my job as a school psychologist, I am often dealing with social issues. Problems between children, between children and grownups, and between grownups. “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it kills your enemy,” Nelson Mandela. In the words of the movie, “Frozen,” it is often best to “Let it go.”

9. “It’s not happiness that makes us grateful; it’s gratefulness that makes us happy.” David Steindl-Rast

Focus on what is going well and let the other stuff drop into the background. Take the RED experiment created by Susan Fee…

Look around your current surroundings and try to find all the examples of RED that you can see. Give yourself 20 seconds to look around.  Now tell me, what did you see that was GREEN?  “Green,” I thought you said, “red.” I did say, “red,” however even though I said “red” you all looked around the room with your eyes, so why couldn’t you tell me what was “green”?

The reason is that our focus causes us to note only the object of our focus and everything else fades into the background. So what does this have to do with a positive outlook? If we focus on the negative, (the stress of everyday life) this negative focus will become prominent in our lives. Without meaning to, it will change our moods and attitudes to the negative. Conversely, if we focus on and are grateful for what we have, we will feel happier and more fulfilled.

Enjoy this Ted Talk on gratefulness.

http://www.ted.com/talks/david_steindl_rast_want_to_be_happy_be_grateful?language=en

If you want more, watch Shawn Achor’s Ted Talk. Even my teenage son was inspired by him to be grateful (although not always towards his mother).

http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en

10. Be a Bucket Filler, not a Bucket Dipper.

We at Harrison Avenue School have made a commitment to be bucket fillers. It’s just as easy to be a “bucket filler” as to be a “bucket dipper.” Make that choice to be a “bucket filler” everyday. In addition, if someone dips in your bucket or someone else’s, use your lid to protect yourself and others so that you can be the best you that you can be!

http://www.bucketfillers101.com/

Hope you enjoyed my top 10 list. Thanks for allowing me to be a fallible, but always gritty person.

All the best,

Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman

Exciting news my upcoming book- The Grit Guide for Teens is available for pre-order at https://www.amazon.com/Grit-Guide-Teens-Perseverance-Self-Control/dp/1626258562/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1477966938&sr=8-1

Kids Lives Matter

We are very proud to share this thought provoking article in the St. Louis Dispatch written by Expert Online Training Faculty member, Kevin Gordon.

Anxiety and animosity regarding race, gender and inequality are approaching a tipping point. Last month, there was another black person killed by another white police officer. I wish this were an isolated act or a new story, but it’s not; daily, we learn about another horrific act targeting a minority group.

And don’t look at social media commentary for a respite; that’s just more of the same, and maybe even worse, since the faceless unaccountability there seems to embolden haters of all types.

However, instead of being devastated, we can act. Instead of continuing the divisiveness, we can find commonality, healing and togetherness. We can invoke change that we work together to facilitate.

Instead of arguing whether Black Lives Matter or All Lives Matter, most can agree that Kids Lives Matter. To combat violence and discrimination, we must empower children with cultural competence and incorporate temperance and understanding into our tomorrow. By focusing on youth, we can harness the power of establishing social change so we can move from hating and work toward celebration by cultivating a respectful and appreciative environment.

We’ve arrived at a crisis point because of segmentation. Left to our own devices (literally), it is easy for us to be connected only through our electronics, and stay hidden behind screens, where it’s too easy to depersonalize the “other.” It is too easy to misunderstand when you don’t see actual people on the other side. It’s too easy to reinforce only our narrow viewpoints.

I know that Kids Lives Matter and can be the answer; as the owner/director of a multicultural summer camp for children, I’ve seen how direct, early interaction can increase understanding and empathy. I’ve witnessed how kids of various racial, ethnic, religious and socioeconomic backgrounds can live, work and play together.

Unlike with most adults, it is easier to challenge kids’ thought processes. Before they become older and less flexible, children can reach their own conclusions and more readily accept, respect and love others. When kids come to camp, we remove those electronic screens and intentionally involve children of diverse backgrounds with each other. These interactions encompass socio-emotional and physical challenges, forcing them to stretch comfort zones.

Indeed, these direct interactions may be the only answer; unless we’re intentional about it, kids are not taught within their school curriculum or elsewhere about cultures beyond the dominant narrative. Kids (and adults) tend to form cliques so they fit in, rather than pushing themselves to stretch uncomfortable cultural, social and sometimes physical boundaries. Because our differences often speak louder than our similarities, this intentionality is key to helping us appreciate our commonalities, thus giving us leeway when differences might be hard.

 When we’re intentional about it, like at camp, we see how children can move from fearing difference to embracing it, from gathering based only on surface similarities to going deeper and connecting based on more in-depth connections.

In this era of segmentation and sequestration, we need to discourage segregation of thought. To move forward powerfully, we need to continue to find answers instead of anger, and engender empowerment instead of resentment. If we focus on bringing kids together to facilitate a better future, we may be alright. We have to do this soon because Kids Lives Matter.

Kevin Gordon is the owner/director of Camp Kupugani Multicultural Summer Camp in Leaf River, Ill. He is a former vice president of the American Camp Association Illinois Section

http://www.stltoday.com/news/opinion/kids-lives-matter/article_1cfe2b9a-52c2-5925-8e10-25087ca54241.html

Responding To Negative Messages

When I was a sophomore in college, I took a class titled, “Corporate Communications” and now I actually teach a similar course at Temple University’s Fox School of Business. I sure do wish I was a more diligent student and paid a bit more attention all those years ago. However, there is at least one lesson I do remember that continues to stand out and it would bode well for all of us to keep this message in mind.

That important lesson was simply: be calm, honest and transparent. It mostly addressed those times when companies find themselves in crisis or controversy that is negatively public or causes some sort of harm to your reputation. The author maintained that SIMPLY being truthful and contrite is the most effective response to save your hard earned reputation.  It almost boggles my mind that more and more, whether it is corporations, politicians or public figures, the first inclination at times of crisis the inclination is to react defensively and to be less than transparent.

As we think about the effects social media has on our reputations, now is a time that all camps need to be more mindful of how they respond.  It seems as if no matter the medium (or the author), if negative messages are shared publicly, they are viewed as truth. The damage of retreating and refusing respond to these attacks can be more devastating then taking a proactive and measured approach to repair/preserve your reputation.

Here are 3 ways you can ensure you can protect your camp’s reputation:

  1. Don’t respond directly to the negativity. Obviously, your initial reaction will be to vigorously defend yourself by addressing the initial “post” and I encourage you hit the pause button.
  2. Craft a measured and positive public response only if you feel it’s warranted. Depending on the nature of the message and potential reputation damage, you may actually choose not to respond at all. Of course, you want to monitor the conversation if it continues.
  3. Contact the interested parties directly. If you can identify the parents/campers who might be affected by these messages, get on the phone. You want to retain them as loyal members of your community and a phone call offering an honest explanation/apology or additional perspective will pay off down the road.

Remaining calm, standing your ground, being honest/forthcoming with your community and staying above the fray will ensure that you limit the damage to your reputation. Don’t let all the hard work and good will you’ve developed over the years go to waste because of negative attacks.

Throwback Thurber (From the Desk of Professor Dave)

I’ve been working with a client over the past few weeks on creating a Culture of Trust among their staff this summer. For many of us, Staff Training is about a month away and we should be thinking about how the staff we’ve hired are going to mesh. Here is a throwback post from Dr. Thurber that discusses the way staff treat each other and how that effects camp.

How Do We Treat Each Other?

How do we treat each other? was the question the leadership director at one of North America’s oldest overnight camps asked the staff one evening. It seemed to be an inane question, given the label of “brotherhood” that the staff had given itself for decades. But the silence in the room suggested legitimate soul-searching had begun. The leadership director, Tom Giggi, was also silent, prompting even more serious reflection. (One of Tom’s strengths is asking good questions; another is his ability to wait for thoughtful replies, rather than answering himself for the group.)

Back when I was a camper, I worshiped my cabin leader. At a camp with strong internal leadership development, it was easy. The prestige of becoming a staff member, borne in part from the competitive selection process, coupled with the pure kindness the staff exuded, meant that most campers at Belknap grew up wanting to become cabin leaders. But now Tom was asking us to peel back the outward layer of kindness and examine its internal purity.

My thoughts drifted to a version of that question I’d been asked by my division head, Mark Goodman, back in 1984, my leader-in-training year. It was my first time working at camp for the full nine-week season and the first time the fabric of kindness that ostensibly bound the staff into a brotherhood started showing tears near the seams.

“Why is Saul being excluded?” Mark had asked me, speaking then about one of my fellow LITs. My defensive response included a litany of Saul’s foibles. “Well,” I began, “he can be kind of annoying. I know he loves camp, but his over-the-top enthusiasm comes off as insincere. And he’s constantly asking questions he knows the answers to, just to make conversation. And he’s clingy. Sometimes people want to be in smaller groups during nights off, but Saul is always there glomming on.”

I went on for several minutes and Mark just looked at me, patiently nodding. Eventually I realized that I hadn’t answered Mark’s question at all. I’d answered the related question, “What don’t you like about Saul?” but not “Why is Saul being excluded?”  Mark was still silent. I swallowed hard, then spoke.

“Saul is being excluded because the rest of us LITs are excluding him.”  Mark nodded, almost imperceptibly. I took a deep breath. “Now I’m thinking that one of the reasons Saul is clingy and over-the-top is because we’re not including him like we should be.”  Mark’s eyes widened a bit. I continued: “You think if we treated Saul differently, he might change. You want us to include him more.”  Finally, Mark spoke. “That would seem like the kind, campy thing to do.”

And so began a new chapter in my understanding of how camp helps people grow. It’s a social microcosm that serves as a proving ground for almost every interpersonal transgression and its positive opposite. The dialectics of bullying—befriending, gossiping—confronting, rejecting—accepting, prejudicing—understanding, hating—loving, and, yes, excluding—including all infiltrate camp at different points in the summer. The key is to leverage the collective strengths of your staff to create a positive community. To do that takes regular, honest reflection and discussion.

Every staff group (indeed every group of human beings anywhere) will have conflicts and will, at times, mistreat one another. Having come to terms with that truth, camp professionals can prevent burnout, breakdown and belligerence by facilitating at least one pre-season and one mid-season discussion that begins with How do we treat one another?

What followed the pregnant pause in the lodge the night Tom posed that question to the staff was a great discussion that included:

  • Silly habits that had grown into traditions unintentionally hurtful to others
  • Greater awareness of others’ needs and ideas about providing support
  • Increased motivation to be inclusive, for the good of all
  • Sincere appreciation for the genuine kindness staff do show one another
  • Renewed sensitivity about how the hierarchy among staff can become a barrier to candid communication

Most of the staff left the in-service training that night encouraged by the group’s insights and armed with two or three concrete new practices that were generous, inclusive, and more in line with the vision of leadership they had romanticized as campers. Only now, that vision of pure kindness seemed closer to reality. One staff member summarized it well: “We were doing some things to ourselves that we never would have tolerated having campers do to one another.”

This winter, plan a time or two to have your staff discuss their behind-the-scenes treatment of each other. Does the way they treat each other after hours, during time off, and away from campers truly reflect the values they purport to embrace as a member of your camp?

 

From the Desk of Professor Dave

TAKE A HIKE…SERIOUSLY.

Full disclosure…I had something else written and was about to hit “Post” when I had a moment of inspiration. Don’t worry, I will get back to that other post next month as it is really important and I want to share. When the idea I’m going to share hit me on a sunny day here in my awesome, adopted city of Philadelphia, I had to switch gears. I actually had to sit down and start writing down my thoughts (with real pen and paper!) to make sure this idea didn’t get drowned out once I got back to my inbox and to-do list on my desk.

We all need to take more walks. Seems like a simple concept, right? Ok then, when was the last time you left your phone on your desk, pushed back your chair, grabbed an iPod for some tunes and just walked?  I’m alluding to a walk with no errands, no destination, no phone call with a potential client (or camp family) or any other technology driven distraction.

Well, I have to admit that as much as I tell myself that it’s probably a good idea, most of my walks tend to be built around a purpose. I actually can’t remember the last time I took a walk just for the sake of walking. It is usually to visit someone or someplace, go to the gym or meet friends for dinner. So, in the midst of a busy day, I decided to drop it all, put some sneakers on and just stroll around the city.

This is an insanely busy time for camp people; I get it because I was one of you. I can’t stress enough that taking an uninterrupted, non-programmed walk will actually make you more productive, enhance your creativity and give you more focus. Here is what I was in the midst of when I decided to push the pause button for an hour: 2 different clients that I’m developing staff training for, 19 students and 9 mentors that I’m helping get through a Practicum process so those students can graduate, a couple of projects for ExpertOnlineTraining and come other proposals which will hopefully lead to camp clients. This was on top of the 75-100 emails I get a day about curriculum, student work, grades, paperwork, etc. So, I am pulled in many different directions and most days seem like it is not possible to get it all done.  I obviously had all of these stresses in my mind as I walked and like most of you, I can’t just ignore my responsibilities. The way I thought about all these important pieces of work is what changed.

My decision to hit that pause button, put on some good tunes and go outside led to these 5 results:

  1. After 10 minutes of trying to figure out where my phone was, I actually felt RELAXED!
  2. I felt like a FRIENDLIER, less stressed version of myself and found myself saying hello and smiling at complete strangers!
  3. I was INSPIRED! Like I said earlier, I had to stop (more than once) to write ideas for all those “problems” that were sitting on my desk.
  4. I felt REFRESHED after only 30 minutes. I started feeling lighter on my feet and my energy levels were quickly back to 100 percent.
  5. I came back to my desk and felt completely FOCUSED on the tasks on my to-do list. I made better decisions (and made them quicker) and I am pretty confident that my level of work was better.

That’s my personal experience and I encourage you to try it yourself. See what happens and enjoy your walk!

And, if you don’t believe me and need more proof, here’s some science: http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/walking-helps-us-think

Throwback Thurber (From the Desk of Professor Dave)

In this Blog Post from Dr. Thurber’s archives, he discusses the importance of spending time and energy on your program. Since many of you are making hiring/purchasing decisions related to your activity areas RIGHT NOW, this is a good time to revisit the idea presented here. Enjoy!

Finding Beauty in an Ashtray

“What is it?” asked my cabin leader, gently.  We both eyed my clay creation as it emerged from the camp kiln, glazed and cooled.  I was 12, so I hadn’t made a something; I’d made an anything.  It had just been fun to pinch and push the clay for our hour-long arts and crafts period.  Now came the hard part: I needed to identify my project.

“Hmm…” I thought out loud.

Finally, my cabin leader said confidently, “Oh, I see.  It’s an ashtray.”

And there it was.  The year was 1980, so it was still permissible to make an ashtray.  Today, the same object would clearly be a politically correct candy dish or a heart-healthy, hypoallergenic soy nut dish.  In any case, it was what it was and there it was.  Like most arts-and-crafts projects at camp, it was, more than anything else, an expressive snapshot of my thoughts, feelings, and actions at the time of creation.  It was simple and personal.  Which is probably why it still sits (sans ashes) on my mother’s writing desk.

Volumes are written about what makes art art and what differentiates art from craft, so instead of writing an essay on aesthetics, I just want to share why I think arts and crafts at camp are so meaningful.  In my mind, anything creative and pleasing to the senses can be art.  Crafts, on the other hand, are construction skills, often learned through apprenticeship.  Naturally, arts and crafts go hand-in-hand.  Michelangelo used the craft of stone carving to create pieces of art like David.  At camp, children learn crafts such as weaving and woodworking to create pieces of art such as baskets and birdhouses.  To what end?

Contemporary conceptualizations of the human mind include the idea of multiple intelligences.  (Interested readers can find books by Howard Gardner and Robert Sternberg.)  Simply put, we have different domains of cognitive strength—such as mathematical, social, verbal, artistic—and those domains compliment each other.  So combining some athletic and social activities at camp with some arts-and-crafts actually feeds kids’ brains.  It’s kind of like intellectual cross-training.  The trouble with some camp arts-and-crafts programs is they are either marginalized or mechanized.

Marginalization occurs when the leadership at camp fails to create an atmosphere where art is valued.  Arts-and-crafts becomes an “uncool” program activity and few campers attend the lame periods that are offered.  The campers who do participate are labeled in ways that suggest they must not be athletic, adventuresome, or heterosexual.

Mechanization occurs when the leadership at camp relies on kits rather than creativity.  Arts-and-crafts devolves into campers purchasing nearly-assembled moccasins, birdhouses, wallets, etc.  The activity periods—if you want to call them that—involve very little activity besides counselors explaining to kids how to interpret the kit’s assembly directions.  Creative juices dry up along with the seed for self-esteem: a genuine sense of accomplishment.

At the best camps, arts-and-crafts programs flourish because the leadership recognizes the value of a balanced program of activities—something that includes athletics, adventure, and art.  Equally important, these programs flourish because campers are challenged to refine their crafty skills, solve problems, and create new works.  The brains and souls of these children are nourished and the camp staff become actively involved in their mission: to nurture positive youth development.  And as an added bonus, some lucky parents and grandparents may get an ashtray—I mean paperweight—on closing day.

Throwback Thurber (From the Desk of Professor Dave)

With the weather turning towards Spring and Summer around the corner, many of you will start collecting information from Parents. Here is a fantastic post from Dr. Thurber about one piece of that correspondence.

Enjoy and let the countdown continue!

Dear Parents,

Help Us Help You. Append the Health Form.

It’s not as bad as your income tax form, but most camp health forms are pretty detailed.  Beyond the basic demographics, there’s immunization and illness history, allergies, medications, permission to treat, and data from your son or daughter’s most recent physical.

And now I’m suggestion you add a sheet of information?  Append the health form?  That’s right.  You know your child better than anyone.  Indeed, there are things about him or her that have taken you (and maybe a pediatrician, nurse, or psychiatrist) years to figure out.  Without your help, your child’s surrogate caregivers—his counselors or cabin leaders—don’t stand a chance at figuring all that out in just a few weeks.

“But wait,” you protest, “I don’t want my child to be labeled.  I don’t want him known throughout camp as The ADD Kid or The IEP Kid or The Prozac Kid.”  These are valid concerns.  If the camp’s staff isn’t properly trained on parameters of confidentiality and child development, there’s a chance the information you provide on the health form will be disrespected, over-shared, or communicated out of context.  Thankfully, more and more staff receive proper training on handling children’s private health information.  If the camp doesn’t tell you how they’ll treat confidential information, be sure to ask.

Once assured the camp will respect your son or daughter’s privacy, your next objection might be, “Isn’t camp a purely recreational experience?  Why would my child need to continue taking medication at a place that’s just about fun?”  The simplest answer to that question is: If the medication is helpful in one setting, it’s likely to be helpful in another.  Yes, camp is fun, but it’s also socially, emotionally, behaviorally, and cognitively demanding.  In good ways.  Camp is a powerful accelerator of positive youth development.  And that development is a byproduct of all kinds of healthy risks and challenges, each of which depend on young people’s social, emotional, behavioral, and cognitive functioning.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children not take medication holidays while at camp.  However, if you’re considering that option, be sure to discuss it with your child’s prescribing physician and your camp.  Keeping camp in the dark about recent medication changes is both unethical and unfair—to your child, her new caregivers, and the camp’s health care team.

So you see, it’s important to complete the camp’s health form honestly and thoroughly.  Simply put, your candor and completeness put the camp staff in the best possible position to care for your child.  But the health form is generic; your child is a custom entity.  For that reason, I urge you to type a paragraph or two describing your son or daughter.  Share details about his or her temperament, routines, personal strengths and weaknesses, and social, learning, and coping styles.

The more camp staff understand about what makes your child tick, the better they can meet your child’s needs…and the better experience your child is likely to have.  Camp health care professionals and front-line staff are tremendously grateful to read parents’ insightful reflections on the nature of their child.  It’s the perfect prerequisite to immersing your child in nature.

 

Throwback Thurber (From the Desk of Professor Dave)

If you haven’t engaged last summer’s staff in this off-season, you should read this!

Here is an awesome blog from Dr. Chris Thurber which is really relevant this time of year…enjoy!

Pull In; Push Out

Igniting Your Ambassadors

If you pulled your staff into a cohesive group this past summer, then they’ve embraced your mission. That’s something to be proud of. Random friendships abound at average camps, but the exceptional camps yield staff who would defend the camp with their lives; who claim their blood is the color of camp; who preach their willingness to spread the good word about the experience. You think to yourself: What fantastic marketing…and how wonderful it is that I’m not alone in living this vision! But do you coach your staff on how to be good ambassadors? Here’s how.

First, remind them that they represent camp every day of the off-season. If they’re wearing a camp sweatshirt while taking a selfie doing a keg stand, that’s a problem. Sadly, it’s a problem many staff don’t realize until a group of parents has already texted it around and called you on the phone. Camp gear is awesome; so is the way it amplifies good and bad behavior when your staff are wearing it.

Second, send them some mission-related literature. Perhaps something a staff member wrote this summer will inspire everyone. Perhaps a glowing evaluation from a parent will remind everyone why they work at camp. Perhaps a free subscription to Camp Business will further professionalize their attitudes and behaviors. The point is: Send them something cool to read. (By the way, all of my previous blogs and articles can be downloaded for free from CampSpirit.com. I’m just sayin’ J )

Third, enlist their help organizing local camp events. When you do home visits, camp fairs, or regional alumni gatherings, it’s important to invite local staff or recent alums so that they can infuse the event with youthful exuberance. Your including them also adds importance to their job and renews their sense of commitment to the organization.

Fourth, tap your staff talents for videography, podcasting, and graphic design to give your promotional materials, yearbook, or even your website a bit of a facelift. Or simply ask some of your staff to write content for some of these outlets. You’d be surprised at how insightful and sincere your most loyal staff are. Let go a bit and allow them to be the voice of camp from time to time.

Fifth, incentivize certifications. Now is the time to communicate to your staff that a lifeguarding certification is not only something camp will pay for, it’s also something camp will reward by adding $100 to their summer contract. Too many camp directors wait to remind staff about certs until the spring. Courses like Wilderness First Responder, Lifeguarding, Water Safety Instructor, and even CPR take some time to schedule when you’re a busy student. Jump on that now.

Your investment in your staff not only strengthens their hard and soft skills, it also makes them skilled spokespeople. Too often, we load training at the front of the season and forget about the long-tail success strategies that strengthen our programs in the months the follow closing day. This fall, push out your message and marketing with intentional ambassador instruction. It’s one of the best ways to pull in new campers.