I consider myself incredibly lucky to spend my days talking and thinking about camp…it’s awesome! I am constantly thinking about, discussing and researching ways to improve on the already impressive work we are doing at our camps from staff training to meals to program. Having the opportunity to then take all the background work I’ve done and helping camps implement those ideas is inspirational.

Creative Control

I was having coffee the other day with a young lady who is thinking about becoming a member of our camp professional club. She has a fire and passion for camp and she just wanted to make an informed decision seeing as she wants this to be THE career move. We talked about a lot of different topics, she had some really insightful questions, and at some point we got onto this idea of the differences between working as part of a large, politically driven organization (like the university she was currently working for) as opposed to working in a camp setting. What amplified this for her even more is that she is a creative, motivated thinker who wants to move quickly and “get things done and make an impact”. This is a topic I’ve thought about often as I went in the opposite direction a few years ago…I moved from a privately-owned day camp to a university setting and was hit with some culture shock. At camp, we are able to move at a pace that is unlike any other industry I’ve been exposed to. If you have an idea, can prove its value and there is little risk then you are encouraged to be ambitious and take ownership of implementing that idea. Yes, there are stakeholders who need to give a final “stamp of approval” and it is just so much easier to garner autonomy in the camp world. I recall trying to get approval for a redesign of a flyer highlighting the courses we offered at the university shortly after leaving camp and it took 3 MONTHS!!! Not 3 days like camp, 3 MONTHS! As I thought more about this conversation and others I’ve had recently with camps, I wondered if are we really living up to that standard of a creativity and exploration we espouse?

Freedom to Innovate

Unlike other industries and especially the primary/secondary teaching world, camps have the unbelievable opportunity to innovate in the ways we educate young people, campers and staff. As long as we meet the standards of safety so campers are emotionally and physically safe, we have the ability to be at the forefront of teaching life skills to our campers and staff. However, May comes every year and no matter how long we’ve been running camp, a little bit of panic sets in as we realize campers are coming in less than 60 days.  The conversations I have with a camp (client or just a friend), become less, “Dave, I really want to try (____) this summer and let’s talk about how I can do that!” and more, “Dave, I really wanted to try (____) this summer but it’s too late and I’m just going to do it the way I did it last summer. Maybe we can try to innovate next year.” I’d like to challenge you to rethink the idea that because of all the “big ticket” items that need to be done you can’t innovate your staff training, for example, and will just succumb to last year being good enough. I have a challenge for all of us as May creeps up.

Small Changes Make Big Impact

I got a message from a camp friend recently who is known to ask me to help with no real warning (I don’t mind and appreciate the challenge!). She was working on developing her Staff Training and wanted to get my feedback on an exercise we’ve probably all heard of or done ourselves. Here is how the conversation went down:

Camp Friend: I want our Division Leaders to write a letter to their future selves to be opened in the Fall and the goal would be to have them highlighting all of the great things we hope/expect from them. I can’t quite figure out the best way to articulate it. Any tools? If I subscribe to the KISS method then the following should work: If you were to write a short letter to your future self, reflecting on Summer 2017, what would it say?

Now, many of you have done this exercise before and it’s probably worked sometimes and other times, you’ve forgotten to follow-up. Regardless, it’s fine and she could continue to present this exercise exactly this way.

However, if she just invested a couple of minutes, she could take this exercise to a whole new level!

My response: I would say be more specific and ask the following questions/prompts: 1. What are your 3 goals for this summer? 2. Identify 3 ways you will grow as a leader? 3. Name 3 ways you want campers and staff to describe you at the end of the summer. 4. What are 3 ways you hope to change personally through your experience at camp?

Easy, right? We turned an OK exercise into a dynamic, meaningful piece of the staff training program.  I am not suggesting you scrap your plan for staff training or develop anything otherworldly that is beyond everyone’s capability. All you need is the belief that even the small changes will help you innovate and change your camp on a large scale. And, you can always ask a friend!

Any Questions? Reach out to me at ProfessorDave.Camp or Schedule a 30 minute Phone/Skype Meeting Here!

“Other People Matter”- Chris Peterson March 20th was The International Day of Happiness. In celebration, throughout the month of March, I received emails sharing ways to increase my happiness. What struck me was that none of the emails suggested buying a pair of expensive shoes or a box of chocolates. Instead, the focus, and rightly so, was on what Positive Psychologist, Chris Peterson, meant by saying, “Other People Matter.” By making other people matter, happiness in the truest and deepest sense of the word is achieved.  When I think about what truly makes me “happy” and gives life meaning, it is my connection to and my ability to help others. I feel incredibly privileged that as a psychologist I “get to” focus on helping others. However, not all of us have those types of jobs. So even if you don’t have a helping job, here are three easy ways based on my three favorite musicals that will allow you to turn a day of happiness into a lifetime of happiness. “Talk Less, Smile More” – “Aaron Burr, Sir,” Hamilton: An American Musical I must confess that seeing Hamilton for a normal price made me very happy. However, not all of us are that fortunate. But, all of us can learn from a line from the song, “Aaron Burr, Sir.” In this song, Aaron Burr encourages Hamilton to “talk less, smile more.” When we are in the presence of smiling people, we feel happy. The underlying, neurological reason for this reaction is that we all have mirror neurons. Mirror neurons mirror back the emotions of others. The converse is also true. When we are surrounded by anger or yelling (a form of talking), we mirror that emotional energy as well. So how can we use mirror neurons to our advantage? We can smile. At school, I smile and say, “Hi” to all. I have trained the kids so that when they see me, they also smile and say “hello.” The exchange of smiles and hellos starts our days off on the right foot. It’s so easy and costs nothing, so if you want to increase happiness in yourself, family, or the larger community, say “hello” with a big smile and let it be contagious. “Can Anybody See, Is Anybody Waving Back At Me?” – “Waving Through A Window,” Dear Evan Hansen the Musical As a psychologist, I am often struck by how many children, teens, and adults feel that they are “tap, tap, tapping on a glass” but that no one is waving back at them. The need to belong is universal. Without it, we feel lost, adrift, and often depressed. So what can you do? Be inviting. Make an effort to be inclusive. Be the person who looks out for others. All of us live busy lives and it is often the case that people don’t mean to avoid waving back. However, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all made a concerted effort to be a person who initiates the waving and also waves back? “Because I Knew You, I have Been Changed For Good”- “For Good,” Wicked the Musical I have listened to this song a billion times (my daughter will confirm this fact). What is it about this song that touches me? And, what does this song have to do with happiness? The song resonates with me because I have found that through helping others, I have been changed for good. So how can you help others? Small things – like opening the door for someone or saying “thank you” to the person who serves you coffee or the colleague who helps you at work – allow you to be a change for good. For the last six years, on the last Sunday of the month, you will find my daughter, my dog Brandy, and me at the United Hebrew Home of New Rochelle. We will be smiling, and tap, tap, tapping on the door, and asking patients, “Would you like a visit from our therapy dog, Brandy?”  What I have discovered is that bringing happiness to others and especially watching my daughter bring happiness to others is incredibly rewarding and creates more happiness than any box of chocolate or pair of sparkly shoes. My challenge for you is that even though The International Day for Happiness has passed, let’s maintain the ripple effect of happiness by smiling more, waving back, and being the good you wish to see in the world. Please see my website (drbaruchfeldman.com) for information about my upcoming book, titled, “The Grit Guide for Teens”.

Lessons from the Road

I recently had the privilege of speaking at CODACON and Campminder Camp 8 in Boulder, CO. My wife, Pam, was there representing her camp and learning more about Campminder (and also supporting me). After the conference, we rented a 1995 VW Eurovan and lived in it for 18 days. It is the first time we ever tried living the RV lifestyle and honestly, we LOVED the entire trip!

Of course, as we were on the road I couldn’t stop thinking about camp and the clients I work with who are always eager to learn. We got home this past weekend and I started processing this trip from a different perspective so I could make this experience relatable to my camp friends.

The National Parks STAFF

While we were traveling, the political landscape in our country changed a bit and being somewhat disconnected (no TV News, “fake” or real), it didn’t really affect us much. The only time I really thought about the changes going on was while we visited the National Parks and the threat of de-funding these institutions. Let me tell you, the parks are gorgeous on their own and the STAFF are really what makes them special. There were several highlights I took from these visits:

• Even in these quiet times, the parks are kept absolutely spotless. There is so much pride evident in the upkeep of the facilities.
• The Rangers who work at these Visitor Centers/Parks are completely committed to their jobs. You can tell that they just want to preserve the natural resources we have and also help us enjoy these spectacular monuments.
• From a facilities standpoint…the signage around the parks are super helpful and well thought out. It was really easy to find what we were looking for and understand what we were looking at.

This country is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL

Our busy lives don’t always allow us to get out of our “comfort zones” and we really should get moving! As we drove our 2600 miles in 18 days, we were bombarded with tremendous beauty. At times we were actually overwhelmed and couldn’t take it all in. It really made me value the incredible assets we all take for granted. Turn your phone off and take a hike one day in a nearby state park or your own camp property and just soak it all in, you’ll be amazed at what you see that may have been in front of you the whole time.

We need LESS

I am a confessed consumer, especially when it comes to technology and books, and knew before this trip that I had a lot of “stuff”. What I came to find out on this trip that life is sweeter when it’s simpler and most of the trappings of our “city” life are unnecessary and only serve to make life more complicated. On the road, we found ourselves climbing into bed (the back of our Camper Van!) at 8:30 every night and taking time to just read, talk or go to sleep. We were up way earlier in the morning then we ever are at home and it felt awesome to get on the road and start exploring every day with tons of extra daylight in front of us. We quickly figured out that we overpacked and could have both survived this trip with half of what we brought with us. This turned into an enthusiastic and really big purge the day after we came home. We donated a full truckload to the local Goodwill and tested the capacity of the Philly garbage trucks. And, we aren’t done yet!

The RIGHT PARTNER

As with anything, the person by your side changes your entire experience (for better or worse). This journey wouldn’t have been as meaningful, fun, exciting, well-planned or positive without the ultimate road trip partner, my wife, Pam. We complement each other in all the right ways and each have qualities that make up for each other’s weaknesses. She is definitely the risk taker and I am measured and risk averse (she’ll tell you it’s because I am older!) and that balance was important throughout the trip. She is great about getting me outside of my comfort zone and pushing me beyond my own limits with what I like to call “supportive, tough love”. My role is usually to be the voice of reason and rationalize why something might not be the best idea despite the vision she had of how the situation would end.

Some closing thoughts…think about all of my discoveries in terms of your camp, camp community, and the people you work with. There are a lot of important lessons I am taking from this experience that I will hopefully be able to share in upcoming conferences/consultations and hopefully you appreciate the takeaways from our journey.

Professor Dave

Professordave.camp

It’s that time of year when people reflect and set “new goals” or “New Year’s resolutions” for themselves. As you can imagine, it is easy to make New Year’s resolutions, but much more difficult to complete them. When I reflect on the goals that I have been able to maintain or the goals my patients have been able to achieve, the following three strategies were most effective.

1. Make it Positive.

The best way to accomplish a goal is to operate from a place of “yes” rather than from a place of “no.” To see how this is true, try doing some simple exercises with me.

First, shake your head “no.” When you shake your head “no,” what do you feel? Now, nod your head “yes.” What feelings arise? If you are like most people, when you shook your head “no,” you might have felt the muscles in your face tighten, an increase in negative emotions, and even a tendency to take a step back. However, shaking your head “yes” is often accompanied by feelings of peace, acceptance, and happiness. So what does positivity have to do with accomplishing a goal? We often try to accomplish a goal by telling ourselves “no”— no more cake, no more hitting my younger sister, no more feeling anxious. However, when we focus on the no, it is human nature to fight it (we actually take a step back). By focusing on the “yes,” or the positive benefits of changing a behavior, you will find it easier to achieve your goals.

2. Shine a light and keep the light on the goal.

It often feels like we have an “angel” and a “devil” on our shoulders directing our behavior in very different directions. The “angel,” often in a quiet voice, encourages us to take actions that will meet our long-term goals, whereas the “devil” voice, almost without thinking, pushes us to give in to what feels good in the moment. So what can we do to beat that devil voice? Keep your goals front and center.

Two ways I have found to keep your goals front and center are by using Advantage Cards and/or a daruma doll. An Advantage Card, a technique I learned from attending a workshop on CBT strategies for weight loss given by Dr. Judith Beck, lists all the advantages of accomplishing your goal. However, it is not enough to make an Advantage Card, you must also commit to reading it every day. By reading your Advantage Card, you are reminding yourself consciously of why accomplishing your goal is so important to you. (To learn more about Advantage cards go to https://beckdietsolution.wordpress.com/).

A daruma is a Japanese doll created for goal setting: you color one eye to set the goal and when the goal is completed, you color in the second. While working on your goal, the one-eyed daruma watches you and serves as an ongoing reminder of what you are trying to achieve. My patients have used darumas to help them be more organized, lose weight, or speak more respectfully towards their parents. I have used a daruma to help me stay out of the kitchen at night and complete my manuscript for my upcoming book on teen grit. (See daruma website for more information -http://www.welovedaruma.com/en/about_daruma.html).

3. Make it easier to reach your goal and harder to fail.

In his book, Before Happiness: Five Actionable Strategies to Create a Positive Path to Success, psychologist Shawn Achor writes about wanting to run more and watch less television. So what did he do to accomplish this goal? He took the batteries out of his remote control and slept in his running clothes. Think about what you can do to make it easier to achieve the behavior you want.

First, do not take on too many goals. Instead, focus on changing one area or one behavior at a time. Break your goal down into small, manageable steps so your overall goal does not seem overwhelming, especially at the beginning when you are the most likely to give up. Pre-commit and make it public. Pre-committing makes it more difficult to change your mind. For example, I write down in my planner the classes I am taking at the gym that week. By making it public (sharing your goal on social media) or by having an accountability partner who will keep you on your toes, you are much more likely to follow the “angel” voice. We are also much more successful when we set up our environment in a way that promotes our goals instead of thinking we can put ourselves in a tempting environment and not give in. For example, I have been trying not to eat late at night. I found I was much more successful when I did not go into the kitchen after 8pm instead of thinking I could just go into the kitchen and not be tempted. Remember, everyone messes up sometimes. But, often when people get off track they overreact, turning a small problem into a bigger one, or by blowing off the rest of their goal. In this way, a simple lapse can end up causing more damage. Instead, acknowledge the lapse, but give yourself credit for getting back on track.

Just one last thought- instead of just focusing on what your goal will mean to you, see if you can connect your goal to a higher purpose. Ask yourself, how can my goal not just benefit myself, but others as well? When we are passionate about our goals and can tie them to something outside of ourselves – we can truly SOAR!

Wishing you a happy and a healthy NEW YEAR – a year full of successes.

Please check out my website at DrBaruchFeldman.com for additional blogs, articles, and presentations.
Follow me on twitter: @carenfeldman

It’s that’s time of year (Thanksgiving), when many of us take a moment to focus on what we are grateful for. For as long as I can remember, it has been a tradition in my family that my mother goes around the Thanksgiving table and asks each of us (grown-ups and kids) what we are grateful for. For a long time, this question elicited some eye rolling by me, even though I should have been past eye rolling. Why does focusing on what we grateful for often bring out the cynics in us and, more importantly, what can we do to banish this cynicism.

It’s the human condition to focus on the negative: the wet towels left on the floor, the less than kind response from a boss or spouse, and the many things that have been left undone in our busy lives. These negative thoughts can often dominate our thinking. However, we need to make a conscious effort to counter this negative bias and instead shine a light on what is working and good in our lives. We know that what we focus on is what we see and react to so we need to make a concerted effort not to get caught up in negative messages and feelings. As I have written about before, we have “mirror neurons,” the pathways in our brain that connect us to other people. When we are positive and grateful, this attitude will rub off on each other. Conversely, when we are negative and contentious with each other, that attitude and behavior will dominate. Both our positive and negative energy bounce off each other. So my question to you is, how do we see the best in ourselves and others so that we can create a positive, instead of a negative, ripple effect?

One suggestion, is to actively engage in gratitude exercises. Just like engaging in weight training exercises builds our muscles, engaging in gratitude exercises builds our ability to see the best in ourselves and others and leads to overall more positive feelings. I recently shared and participated in a gratitude activity (https://ideas.classdojo.com/b/gratitude) with my students. In this activity, each of us (including me) picked a person from a hat and then shared with that individual what we were grateful for in them. Both sharing and receiving these words of kindness and well wishes was uplifting and brought a smile to all our faces, a smile that lasts even as I write about this experience. So, at our Thanksgiving tables this year, let’s all make a commitment to focus on what we are grateful for and to lead lives which focus on the positive and see the best in one another.

My warmest wishes to you and your family for a peaceful Thanksgiving holiday. And, let’s all make a commitment to less eye rolling!

Feeling extremely grateful that my forthcoming book is now on PRE-ORDER. To order please go to: https://www.amazon.com/Grit-Guide-Teens-Perseverance-Self-Control/dp/1626258562/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479599837&sr=8-1&keywords=teen+grit 

Please check out my website at DrBaruchFeldman.com for additional blogs, articles, and presentations.
Follow me on twitter: @carenfeldman

We are very proud to share this thought provoking article in the St. Louis Dispatch written by Expert Online Training Faculty member, Kevin Gordon.

Anxiety and animosity regarding race, gender and inequality are approaching a tipping point. Last month, there was another black person killed by another white police officer. I wish this were an isolated act or a new story, but it’s not; daily, we learn about another horrific act targeting a minority group.

And don’t look at social media commentary for a respite; that’s just more of the same, and maybe even worse, since the faceless unaccountability there seems to embolden haters of all types.

However, instead of being devastated, we can act. Instead of continuing the divisiveness, we can find commonality, healing and togetherness. We can invoke change that we work together to facilitate.

We’ve arrived at a crisis point because of segmentation. Left to our own devices (literally), it is easy for us to be connected only through our electronics, and stay hidden behind screens, where it’s too easy to depersonalize the “other.” It is too easy to misunderstand when you don’t see actual people on the other side. It’s too easy to reinforce only our narrow viewpoints.

I know that Kids Lives Matter and can be the answer; as the owner/director of a multicultural summer camp for children, I’ve seen how direct, early interaction can increase understanding and empathy. I’ve witnessed how kids of various racial, ethnic, religious and socioeconomic backgrounds can live, work and play together.

Unlike with most adults, it is easier to challenge kids’ thought processes. Before they become older and less flexible, children can reach their own conclusions and more readily accept, respect and love others. When kids come to camp, we remove those electronic screens and intentionally involve children of diverse backgrounds with each other. These interactions encompass socio-emotional and physical challenges, forcing them to stretch comfort zones.

Indeed, these direct interactions may be the only answer; unless we’re intentional about it, kids are not taught within their school curriculum or elsewhere about cultures beyond the dominant narrative. Kids (and adults) tend to form cliques so they fit in, rather than pushing themselves to stretch uncomfortable cultural, social and sometimes physical boundaries. Because our differences often speak louder than our similarities, this intentionality is key to helping us appreciate our commonalities, thus giving us leeway when differences might be hard.

http://www.stltoday.com/news/opinion/kids-lives-matter/article_1cfe2b9a-52c2-5925-8e10-25087ca54241.html

When I was a sophomore in college, I took a class titled, “Corporate Communications” and now I actually teach a similar course at Temple University’s Fox School of Business. I sure do wish I was a more diligent student and paid a bit more attention all those years ago. However, there is at least one lesson I do remember that continues to stand out and it would bode well for all of us to keep this message in mind.

That important lesson was simply: be calm, honest and transparent. It mostly addressed those times when companies find themselves in crisis or controversy that is negatively public or causes some sort of harm to your reputation. The author maintained that SIMPLY being truthful and contrite is the most effective response to save your hard earned reputation.  It almost boggles my mind that more and more, whether it is corporations, politicians or public figures, the first inclination at times of crisis the inclination is to react defensively and to be less than transparent.

As we think about the effects social media has on our reputations, now is a time that all camps need to be more mindful of how they respond.  It seems as if no matter the medium (or the author), if negative messages are shared publicly, they are viewed as truth. The damage of retreating and refusing respond to these attacks can be more devastating then taking a proactive and measured approach to repair/preserve your reputation.

Here are 3 ways you can ensure you can protect your camp’s reputation:

1. Don’t respond directly to the negativity. Obviously, your initial reaction will be to vigorously defend yourself by addressing the initial “post” and I encourage you hit the pause button.
2. Craft a measured and positive public response only if you feel it’s warranted. Depending on the nature of the message and potential reputation damage, you may actually choose not to respond at all. Of course, you want to monitor the conversation if it continues.
3. Contact the interested parties directly. If you can identify the parents/campers who might be affected by these messages, get on the phone. You want to retain them as loyal members of your community and a phone call offering an honest explanation/apology or additional perspective will pay off down the road.

Remaining calm, standing your ground, being honest/forthcoming with your community and staying above the fray will ensure that you limit the damage to your reputation. Don’t let all the hard work and good will you’ve developed over the years go to waste because of negative attacks.

As many of you know, I am writing a book – The Grit Guide for Teens. The good news is that I just gave the book into the editor today (5 minutes ago). The bad news is that writing an original blog was impossible. However, as you all know, I am a big fan of habits and my habit of producing a monthly blog needed to happen – so I am kind of cheating. I am sharing a blog I shared last September because it is still so timely and it was the only way a blog would be sent out before school started.  I hope you enjoy! Here it is…

“Hello.” It is such a simple word, yet so powerful. I recently experienced the power of “hello” while at Lake George. If anyone has ever been to Lake George, it is all about the lake and boating. I grew up on the water and have warm memories of boating with my family. For those of you who are less familiar with boating etiquette, it is boating protocol to say, “hello.” For little kids, adults, people on big boats, or small boats – when you see another boat or a person on land you say, “hello”, and give a big wave. The question is why? When you are in a car and you stop at a light you don’t say, “hello” to the other motorist or passengers. In fact, it is often the opposite. In a car, people would be put off by a “hello” and the only hand gestures I have seen motorists use have not been very pleasant. So my question to you is – is it the fun of boating that makes everyone so friendly, or does friendly make boating so much fun? I think it is a little bit of both. Boating is fun, which puts us in a good mood, and being in a good mood makes us friendly and happy.

Although summer vacation is over, here are three easy ways to keep the warmth and good feelings of summer alive, year round.

1. Smile and say, “Hello” 
Smiling is contagious. The underlying, neurological reason for this reaction is that we all have mirror neurons. Mirror neurons mirror back the emotions of others. Therefore, when we are in the presence of smiling people, we feel happy (boat people). The converse is also true. When we are surrounded by irate and impatient people (often motorists), we mirror that emotional energy as well. So how can we use mirror neurons to our advantage? We can smile. At school, I smile and say, “hi” to all. I have trained the kids so that when they see me, they smile too and say “hello.” The exchange of smiles and hellos starts our days off on the right foot. It’s so easy and costs nothing, so if you want to improve your mood, the mood of your family or the larger community, say, “hello” with a big smile.

2. Be Bucket Fillers, not Bucket Dippers, and Use Your Lid 
At the school that I work, we have made a commitment to be bucket fillers. You can fill a bucket by acts of kindness to yourself and others. When you fill a bucket, you and the other person feel good. When you dip into someone else’s bucket, you dip into your own. Lastly, protect your own bucket and the bucket of others by putting a lid on it. When we fill others’ buckets (by being kind), we not only bring joy to them, but also reward ourselves. It nurtures us and makes us feel good.

3. Focus on the positive 
Human beings have a tendency to focus on the negative. This negative focus may have helped us in our caveman days to ward off saber-tooth tigers, but can be detrimental in our current lives. It is important to proactively change our focus and search for the wins rather than the losses. If we focus on the negative, this negative focus will become prominent in our lives, and without meaning to, it will change our moods and attitudes. Conversely, if we focus on the smiles, the laughs, and what we are accomplishing, we will feel happier and more fulfilled.

So my challenge to you is even though the summer is fading, let’s create the same cheer and warmth year round. Whether young or old, big, or small, make sure you give a warm greeting, be a bucket filler, not a bucket dipper, and always try to focus on the positive.

Wishing everyone a terrific beginning of the school year, one filled with joy and happiness. I promise you that when you see me I will be saying, “hi” and waving to you as if we were passing each other in boats.

It was great…, it was hard!” Katie Ledecky, age 6

I fell off the bike. It happened. My greatest fear had occurred. However, instead of being the disaster I had created in my head, it was freeing. But wait, let’s travel back a little earlier in the day for some context.

I had decided for my last day of my spa vacation, that instead of getting another massage, I would challenge myself with some mountain biking (yes, I know some of you are thinking – she is crazy). I signed up for the beginner class, feeling both confident and apprehensive: confident because I had mountain biked twice before; but nervous because mountain biking does not come easy to me. To be totally honest, it freaks me out. You may be wondering given my lack of both skill and confidence in this area, why would I choose mountain biking instead of sitting by the pool? Because I believe strongly that there is no better feeling than accomplishing something that takes courage and strength.

So with this in mind, here are three things I learned about facing my fear through mountain biking.

1. You need grit!
To face a fear you need to be gritty. I needed a combination of persistence mixed with perseverance. When I literally could not get on the bike seat (the bike seat on a mountain bike is much higher than on a street bike), I needed to try and try again. When I fell off the bike while trying to get on the seat, I needed to pick myself up and learn from the experience. What I learned was that although it felt safer to stay closer to the ground, this approach was not working. I needed to stand up taller and be further away from the ground to get on the seat. What helped me to do that was staying present as opposed to freaking out in my head. Breathing and looking at where I needed to go was better than spinning in my head. What also helped me was making this ride about purpose. Although I wanted to get on and stay on this bike for myself, I also chose to engage in this activity because it helps me with my patients. Mountain biking helps me tap into the feeling of, and be more empathetic, with my many patients who struggle with fear and anxiety. Thinking about how this activity could benefit others gave me the needed drive to continue and persevere.

2. You need an optimistic mindset.
When riding the bike, I needed to make a conscious effort to maintain a positive mindset and note my improvements as opposed to focusing on what was still not achieved. It is human nature to focus on the negative and what has not been accomplished (e.g., making s-turns in the sand or riding over bigger rocks). I tried to focus on my growth and progress. I am glad to share with you that eventually I was able to consistently get on the bike and stop jamming the bar of the bike into places that cause pain. Having this optimistic and positive mindset allowed me to persist, be more resilient and grow from the experience.

3. You need your cheerleaders.
My ability to fall and pick myself up would not have been possible if I had not been in the company of my best friend and a supportive guide. My cheerleaders set high expectations for me: “Go back and practice those s-turns because we know you can do them!” while at the same time singing my praises when I was able to stop on a dime and go over logs on the road. Their combination of high expectations and unwavering support was essential for this journey.

So it may still seem a little crazy that the highlight of my spa vacation was one in which I fell. (Just so you know, there were awesome massages, food and classes too). But, if you are like me, there is no greater reward than rising to a challenge and mastering it. Thank you Miraval, Marcia (my best friend) and my husband and kids (who took care of the house and dog) for this awesome experience.