WEBVTT FILE

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Welcome to Leadership Essentials,

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online learning for youth
development professionals.

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Advanced skills for

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working with difficult parents.

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Part one, overwhelmed and anxious parents.

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Most parents you'll work with this summer

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at day camp or resident camp will

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be pleasant and cooperative.

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They understand their children, your camp,

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and the way children
and camps work together.

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But a small percentage of
parents will be difficult.

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So in this module, I'll show you

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some examples of difficult parents

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along with a collection of ten essential

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principles you can use in combination,

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to form productive partnerships

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with even the most
difficult moms and dads.

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No single strategy works
with every difficult parent,

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but here are 10 powerful
approaches you can use,

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in whatever combination suits your style.

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Be interested, be calm, be patient.

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Be understanding, be kind,

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be realistic.

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Be practical, be strong,

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be respectful and be collaborative.

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If there were a simple
recipe I could give you

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for successfully managing
the most difficult

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situations with parents,
I would, but there isn't.

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You've got to have the courage to try

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these 10 strategies
alone, or in combination,

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along with other things
that you think might,

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work and learn from experience,

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what's effective with
different kinds of parents.

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In the end, it can be very gratifying

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to form a working relationship

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with a difficult parent,
because it helps provide

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a more enjoyable camp experience

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for their son or daughter.

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In part one of this module series,

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you'll see ways to work with overwhelmed

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parents and anxious parents.

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Later, in part two,
you'll learn how to work

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with bossy, defiant, and unhappy parents.

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As you watch each vignette, in part one

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and part two, think of
ways you might respond

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even more skillfully than the staff

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member in the video does.

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Keep in mind that children don't

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always act like their parents.

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Let your opinions about campers form

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after you've gotten to know them,

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rather than assuming right at the start,

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that they somehow resemble their parents.

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OK, let's start with overwhelmed parents.

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Overwhelmed parents have
too much on their minds.

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Overwhelmed parents may speak quickly,

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ask a lot of questions,
and seem distracted.

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Dropping their child off for day camp,

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or resident camp, involves more details

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than they can easily handle, given

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everything else that's
going on in their lives.

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Get out the car!

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Where is your trunk?

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Where's your coat?

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Hop out!

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Hi, Mrs. Donahee?

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Wait, where are those...

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What shoes are those on?

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Mrs. Donahee?

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Yeah, oh hi, I'll be right with you,

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I am so sorry that we're late.

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We were supposed to be here...

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At this point, you're probably

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wondering how this parent even gets

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her shoes tied in the morning.

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You might be tempted to just

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stand back and watch things unfold.

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But try pulling a few
strategies from our list.

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Staying calm, showing interest,

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and being understanding,
kind, and practical,

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are especially helpful
with overwhelmed parents.

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I'm so sorry we're late!

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It's not a problem, I'm here to help.

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Ya know what, we kinda
got the days mixed up.

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Oh, it happens all the time.

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So I really didn't pack
as organized as I'd like to.

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That's OK.

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He takes some medicine, he takes

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vitamin C in the morning,
and some Nasacort,

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Here's his suntan lotion--

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Mrs Donahee, why
don't we take everything

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inside, out of the rain,
we'll figure it all out then.

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Here's his toothbrush.
We've got plenty of time,

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we're in no hurry.

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Hey guys, lets get dry,
why don't we go inside?

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Very good, thanks, like I said,

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we ended up at camp Evergreen...

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Oh it happens all the time.

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or Pinegreen, I got
the wrong directions...

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These old roads are extremely confusing.

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Yeah, I know it.

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Overwhelmed parents might need you

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to step in and help organize things.

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Maintaining a calm tone
of voice also helps,

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as you'll see in this next
vignette with an anxious parent.

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Anxious parents are afraid of the unknown.

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They're especially worried
that something might

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happen to their child, and they compensate

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by hovering and becoming overprotective.

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They have an especially
hard time saying goodbye.

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You know what, I saw some poison

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ivy behind the bathrooms.

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You're really, really allergic to poison

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ivy so we need to get some sunblock,

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some poison ivy block on it.

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There's some in your backpack.

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We could do it now, we could do it now.

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You know honey, maybe this wasn't

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such a good idea, maybe another year.

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Ya know, maybe?

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Listen, if you get homesick and

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you want to come home, give me a call

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and I'll come get you, I will.

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Faced with this kind of parent,

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you might be tempted to look for

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some kind of tranquilizer.

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But of course the best thing to do

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is remember that anxiety
comes from a place of love.

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Being understanding,
collaborative, and strong,

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especially when it comes to camp policies,

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is quite effective here.

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Look, Mrs. Clark, I can understand

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that having your son away from home

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for the first time can be very difficult

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to go through but, I
understand that Malik's

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been signed up for two weeks, and I think

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he's gonna have a great stay, we have

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tons of activities around camp and

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let's not make any early
pick up deals just yet.

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OK I understand, I understand.

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But I'm just a little worried
about staying in touch.

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You know, maybe I could phone him

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and we could talk a little, and I could

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just make sure he's doing ok.

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Staying in touch is not a problem.

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At camp we communicate with postcards

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and mail so, if you've given him stamps

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and mail, have you've
given him the postcards?

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I did, I did, in his
trunk, in a Ziplock bag,

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there's postcards, letters all

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pre addressed and stamped just like

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it said in the video,
so he can write home,

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and he can write to friends and,

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he'll be writing lots of letters I hope.

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Great!
I will.

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All right, I think it's the perfect time

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that we can get Malik up
to the kickball field,

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and just get him involved with

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some of the other campers.

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That sounds great, maybe I can go

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and watch the game for a little while

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and just make sure he's settling in OK

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and making some friends.

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We have plenty of staff up there,

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and if it makes you feel better,

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I can send you a postcard
tomorrow just to tell

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you how he's doing with
the rest of the camp.

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OK, that sounds great,
all right sweetheart.

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Oh, maybe I could stay

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in the cabin next door for a few days?

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(man laughs)
Mom!

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Just to make sure, just kidding.

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Sweetheart just kidding, I know.

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You're gonna have a great time.

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Anxious parents are sometimes

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called helicopter parents for the way

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they hover around their
children and the camp staff.

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However if you follow through on your

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promises to parents and provide

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clear boundaries, reassurance,

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and factual information about camp,

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you can be a soothing presence.

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Before we get to bossy, defiant and

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unhappy parents in part
two of this module series,

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let's review the core
principles of working with

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overwhelmed and anxious parents.

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For overwhelmed parents,
be a soothing presence

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by staying calm and helping out.

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Overwhelmed parents
need your understanding

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and your guidance in
this new camp setting.

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For anxious parents, who
may linger and worry,

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provide reassurance that their
child will be well cared for.

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At the same time, set
limits and stay strong

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when it comes to camp policies on

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phone calls, early pick up deals,

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and correspondence with home.

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The confident tone you set with both

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overwhelmed and anxious parents

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will reassure them and their children

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that camp will be great.

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That wraps up part one of
this Leadership Essential.

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Thanks for watching and
have a great summer.

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For quizzes, handouts
and other resources,

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explore more on

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