Join Dr. Chris Thurber on our first 20 minute flash webinar where he will teach you three keys to designing a valid and reliable questionnaire. Use what you design today to assess camper and parent satisfaction, generate ideas for program improvement, and help you hire next season’s staff.
You can download the accompanying handout here: designing_assessment_tools
“Hello.” It is such a simple word, yet so powerful. I recently experienced the power of “hello” while at Lake George. If anyone has ever been to Lake George, it is all about the lake and boating. I grew up on the water and have warm memories of boating with my family. For those of you who are less familiar with boating etiquette, it is boating protocol to say, “hello.” For little kids, adults, people on big boats, or small boats – when you see another boat or a person on land you say, “hello”, and give a big wave. The question is why? When you are in a car and you stop at a light you don’t say, “hello” to the other motorist or passengers. In fact, it is often the opposite. In a car, people would be put off by a “hello” and the only hand gestures I have seen motorists use have not been very pleasant. So my question to you is – is it the fun of boating that makes everyone so friendly, or does friendly make boating so much fun? I think it is a little bit of both. Boating is fun, which puts us in a good mood, and being in a good mood makes us friendly and happy.
Although summer vacation is over, here are three easy ways to keep the warmth and good feelings of summer alive, year round.
1. Smile and say, “Hello”
Smiling is contagious. The underlying, neurological reason for this reaction is that we all have mirror neurons. Mirror neurons mirror back the emotions of others. Therefore, when we are in the presence of smiling people, we feel happy (boat people). The converse is also true. When we are surrounded by irate and impatient people (often motorists), we mirror that emotional energy as well. So how can we use mirror neurons to our advantage? We can smile. At school, I smile and say, “hi” to all. I have trained the kids so that when they see me, they smile too and say “hello.” The exchange of smiles and hellos starts our days off on the right foot. It’s so easy and costs nothing, so if you want to improve your mood, the mood of your family or the larger community, say, “hello” with a big smile.
2. Be Bucket Fillers, not Bucket Dippers, and Use Your Lid At the school that I work, we have made a commitment to be bucket fillers. You can fill a bucket by acts of kindness to yourself and others. When you fill a bucket, you and the other person feel good. When you dip into someone else’s bucket, you dip into your own. Lastly, protect your own bucket and the bucket of others by putting a lid on it. When we fill others’ buckets (by being kind), we not only bring joy to them, but also reward ourselves. It nurtures us and makes us feel good.
3. Focus on the positive
Human beings have a tendency to focus on the negative. This negative focus may have helped us in our caveman days to ward off saber-tooth tigers, but can be detrimental in our current lives. It is important to proactively change our focus and search for the wins rather than the losses. If we focus on the negative, this negative focus will become prominent in our lives, and without meaning to, it will change our moods and attitudes. Conversely, if we focus on the smiles, the laughs, and what we are accomplishing, we will feel happier and more fulfilled.
So my challenge to you is even though the summer is fading, let’s create the same cheer and warmth year round. Whether young or old, big, or small, make sure you give a warm greeting, be a bucket filler, not a bucket dipper, and always try to focus on the positive.
Wishing everyone a terrific beginning of the school year, one filled with joy and happiness. I promise you that when you see me I will be saying, “hi” and waving to you as if we were passing each other in boats.
This blog was originally published by Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman on her web site drbaruchfeldman.com
In honor of David Letterman’s 33 years on the air and his very famous top 10 list, I thought it would be fitting for the end of the school year to create my very own top 10 list. This list is a mix of some of the best quotes, videos, books, and ideas that have inspired me. I hope they inspire you as well.
I recently watched a Ted Talk by Rita Pierson. She states, “Kids don’t learn from people they don’t like.” Therefore, before you do anything as a parent or as a teacher, make sure that a positive relationship has been established.
Check out the following Ted Talk. After watching it you will see the power of relationships and be inspired.
https://www.ted.com/talks/rita_pierson_every_kid_needs_a_champion?language=en
In addition, if you want to read a book over the summer that will inspire you to establish a positive relationship, read any book by Dr. Robert Brooks. Dr. Brooks writes, and more importantly lives his life, based on this philosophy.
As many of you know, I am a big believer in mindset. We don’t always have control over our situation, but we do always have control over our thoughts. In an inspirational Ted Talk given by Dr. Kelly Mcgonigal, she demonstrates how to make stress our friend by changing our mindset.
http://kellymcgonigal.com/2014/11/15/watch-my-ted-talk-how-to-make-stress-your-friend/
If you want to learn more from Dr. Mcgonigal, I highly recommend her latest book, The Upside of Stressand her audiotape The Neuroscience of Change.
I often find that people who expect life to follow a straight and sturdy path are frustrated and disappointed. However, if you expect life to be more like a wave you need to surf, you will be less disappointed and more at peace. One way to get more comfortable with the waves of life is to meditate. I think you will enjoy this video on the power of meditation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ1-Nj3vcXY
If something is not accomplished, don’t give up. In addition, change a “fixed mindset” to a “growth mindset.” Furthermore, remember the power of the word “yet.” For example, instead of saying, “I am not good at fractions,”say, “I am not good at fractions YET.” Two videos on this topic are a must.http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit (grit)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-swZaKN2Ic (yet)
In the words of my mentor Dr. Albert Ellis, we are fallible human beings. So to change a habit or ourselves, we must work to change our surroundings, rather than try to conquer willpower. Simply put, make it easy to be good and hard to be bad. Dr. Shawn Achor gives a great example in his book the Happiness Advantage, where he speaks about taking the batteries out of his TV remote and sleeping in his gym clothes in order to make it easier to run and harder to watch TV. In addition, if you want an effective and an evidenced based strategy to change habits, WOOP it out (Dr. Gabrielle Oettingen). See link below for more information on WOOP.
https://characterlab.org/goal-setting
Also great summer reading: Shawn Achor’s Happiness Advantage and Gabrielle Oettingen’s Rethinking Positive Thinking.
It is very easy to get busy with unimportant but SUPPOSEDLY URGENT matters (emails, texts, whining). Don’t! Instead, spend time on things that are meaningful, but not necessarily urgent (e.g., reading to your children, connecting with old friends, meditating).
When someone throws you negative energy, don’t grab that leash. We tend to mirror the emotions so it is easy to get pulled into a negative cycle of emotions. Instead, mirror back to the person the way you want to be seen and remembered by taking a step back, breathing, and remembering what is important.
8. Let it GO.
In my job as a school psychologist, I am often dealing with social issues. Problems between children, between children and grownups, and between grownups. “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it kills your enemy,” Nelson Mandela. In the words of the movie, “Frozen,” it is often best to “Let it go.”
9. “It’s not happiness that makes us grateful; it’s gratefulness that makes us happy.” David Steindl-Rast
Focus on what is going well and let the other stuff drop into the background. Take the RED experiment…
Look around your current surroundings and try to find all the examples of RED that you can see. Give yourself 20 seconds to look around. Now tell me, what did you see that was GREEN? “Green,” I thought you said, “red.” I did say, “red,” however even though I said “red” you all looked around the room with your eyes, so why couldn’t you tell me what was “green”?
The reason is that our focus causes us to note only the object of our focus and everything else fades into the background. So what does this have to do with a positive outlook? If we focus on the negative, (the stress of everyday life) this negative focus will become prominent in our lives. Without meaning to, it will change our moods and attitudes to the negative. Conversely, if we focus on and are grateful for what we have, we will feel happier and more fulfilled.
Enjoy this Ted Talk on gratefulness.
http://www.ted.com/talks/david_steindl_rast_want_to_be_happy_be_grateful?language=en
If you want more, watch Shawn Achor’s Ted Talk. Even my teenage son was inspired by him to be grateful (although not always towards his mother).
http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en
10. Be a Bucket Filler, not a Bucket Dipper.
We at Harrison Avenue School have made a commitment to be bucket fillers. It’s just as easy to be a “bucket filler” as to be a “bucket dipper.” Make that choice to be a “bucket filler” everyday. In addition, if someone dips in your bucket or someone else’s, use your lid to protect yourself and others so that you can be the best you that you can be!
http://www.bucketfillers101.com/
Hope you enjoyed my top 10 list. Have a restful, peaceful, and FUN summer!
All the best,
Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman
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Please see my website (drbaruchfeldman.com) for additional blogs, articles, and presentations and follow me at twitter at carenfeldman@carenfeldman.
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