Wise Use of Time Off

This article was originally published inCamping Magazine’s 2013 May/June issue

 

 

Last Night

Phil Bader did everything wrong on his last night off except give his keys to a sober colleague. He’d left camp 10 minutes early, bought alcohol with a fake ID, indulged in binge drinking, stumbled back into his cabin 30 minutes late and urinated in a child’s footlocker before collapsing in his own bed.

 

Had a camper needed his assistance later that night—for an asthma attack, a nightmare or an upset stomach—Phil would have been useless. But Phil would not have been alone. Many other camp counselors, at all different kinds of day and resident camps, spent their time in a similar fashion that night.

 

In the morning, when a certain hapless child attempted to get dressed and discovered Phil’s incontinent indiscretion, the child complained to the unit leader. The unit leader did the right thing by confronting Phil, listening to the parts of the story that Phil remembered and then escorting Phil to the camp director. In turn, the camp director did the right thing by terminating Phil’s employment and contacting the child’s parents after laundering his clothes and having a new footlocker Fed-Ex’ed to the camp at Phil’s expense.

 

It was, as noted above, Phil’s last night off. But Phil was an outlier. Not in a behavior sense, but in a statistical sense. He was one of the few camp staff to be fired for spending his time off poorly. Most of the young men and women who had engaged in similarly unwise recreation simply got up the next morning, splashed their faces with cold water and got back to taking care of other people’s children. Which is a sobering thought.

 

Partying is Fun

Lest you fear that I’m about to lapse into a condescending lecture, let me state two undeniable truths: (1) Many unhealthy ways of spending time off are fun, just as many kinds of junk food are delicious; (2) Many unhealthy ways of spending time off are bonding experiences, just as hazing rituals and fighting together on a battlefield are. But who would say that junk food and war are healthy choices?

 

I do understand that getting drunk and doing crazy things can be a blast. I also understand that an activity’s fun quotient and bonding power are not the best ways to judge that activity’s appropriateness for the camp setting. Youth development professionals must use another litmus test: How does this activity affect my ability to lead and care for campers? If an activity helps you lead and care, please continue; if it hurts, please stop. And if you’re not sure, please talk with a more experienced staff member who can bring clarity to your judgment.

 

The Time Off Test

For any staff member who is unsure about whether a time-off activity enhances or diminishes his or her ability to lead and care for young people, there is another easy assessment: The Tme Off Test. Simply ask yourself, upon returning to camp, “Do I feel relaxed, refreshed, and ready to go?” (Remember, whether you work at a day camp, overnight camp or another youth-serving organization, you’ll need energy and patience all season long.)

 

Your honest answer to that single question will help you plan for the next time off. If your answer is “Yes,” then you’re probably doing what you need to be doing. If, on the other hand, your answer is: “No. I feel worse than when I left,” then you should revise your plans for the next night or day off. Most of you reading this are not parents, but you can all ask yourself a second, hypothetical question: If your campers were your own children, would you be proud—honestly—of the kind of shape you are in?

 

Poor Use of Time Off

Binge drinking may be the most common unhealthy time off choice for camp staff worldwide, but there are other poor uses of time off that deserve mention. Like drinking, each is motivated by good intentions, such as having fun and bonding, but each is blind to the bigger picture of professional responsibility. Examples include:

 

  • Driving outrageous distances. “Road trip!” may sound fun when it’s shouted at the start of time off, but long drives are exhausting. As a rule of thumb, staff should spend no more than 25% of their time off in the car. For example, a staff member at a resident camp with a 24-hour day off should spend no more than three hours driving to a day-off destination.
  • Staying up most of the night. Surrounded by friends and a festive atmosphere, it’s easy to watch movies or play games all night, but sleep deprivation has dangerous consequences. A drowsy lifeguard, belayer, van driver, trip leader or boat driver could neglect duties or experience slowed reaction time…with lethal consequences.
  • Using or abusing drugs. Alcohol is not the only recreational drug that staff abuse at camp. Prescription painkillers, stimulant medications, sleeping pills and anti-anxiety medications can all have illicit uses, in addition to their helpful, legitimate uses. Just as staff must be abstinent from illegal drugs such as marijuana, they must also abstain from medications not prescribed to them.
  • Participating in dangerous activities. Staff at day and resident camps spend a great deal of time designing and supervising healthy risks for young people, as well as ensuring that they are wearing properly fitting helmets, life preservers, and footwear. Ironically, these are the same staff who go cliff jumping, drag racing, have unprotected sex or drive drunk during time off. Staff would be wise to maintain safe practices all season long, both during time on and time off. Healthy behaviors benefit individual staff members, the young people they serve and the reputation of the camp.

 

Healthier Options

Time off spent wisely is a bonding experience that is both fun and restorative. But it does take planning. Without preparation, partying becomes the default plan. Therefore, the most successful camps have spent years building a three-ring binder full of healthy time-off choices. These binders typically include local points of interest, the best neighborhood restaurants, addresses of alums happy to host nights and days off, and recreation options (camp sites, shopping malls, movie theaters, national parks, etc.) within striking distance.

 

The value of a time-off binder is twofold: First, staff are more likely to spend their time off wisely, because a multitude of healthy options—vetted by previous staff members—are at their fingertips. Second, staff are less likely to engage in unhealthy risk-taking, such as binge drinking, because they experience the easy value of spending time off in fun and wholesome ways. Best of all, the staff themselves revise and contribute to the binder. As old venues close or fall out of favor and new venues open or rise in popularity, the binder’s content evolves.

 

Examples of healthy time-off choices include:

 

  • Camping out
  • Seeing a movie
  • Climbing a mountain
  • Eating at a restaurant
  • Sleeping later than usual
  • Visiting nearby camp alums
  • Cooking together, indoors or out
  • Relaxing at a public beach, pool or lakeside

 

Shifting Your Mindset

Working at camp involves a paradigm shift. Youth leaders are transitioning from college, university or a vocational setting, where the work is mostly self-focused, to camp, where the work is expressly other-focused. During the academic year, staff may complete some phenomenal volunteer or service work, but they are primarily working toward earning grades, stuffing their resumes, or making money. For themselves.

 

At camp, staff are working for others. And not just any others. You are caring for other people’s children. There can be no greater responsibility. This means that more than your mindset needs to shift. You also need to shift your behavior as you consider what the consequences of your actions are. Ask yourself, “How will this choice affect the young people I serve?”

 

Fail Like Phil? You Decide.

My compliments to any staff member who has read this far. Many staff are dismissive of health advice. I was, between the ages of 16 and 26. Even with a strong family history of malignant melanoma (a deadly form of skin cancer), I dismissed my mother’s advice to put on sunscreen, in favor of cultivating my summer tan. I changed my mind about sunscreen when I first noticed permanent wrinkles on my face and a few scary-looking freckles on my back that my dermatologist had to burn off with a laser. But my dermatologist was clear: the bulk of sun damage had already been done. Lesson learned. But only time will tell if my learning was too late.

 

These days, I’m happily surprised to see young staff putting sunscreen on themselves and their campers. What caused this behavior change? It was nothing I said. It was two other factors: Availability and example. When I was a young leader, sunscreen was an optional, personal toiletry. In the last decade, most camps have strategically placed one-gallon sunscreen pumps throughout camp. That’s availability. Just like time-off binders, giant sunscreen pumps make healthy choices abundantly available. That’s one factor.

 

The other factor—example—came in the form of experienced staff publically showcasing their use of sunscreen. The rest of the staff (and campers) followed suit. It’s simply what was done. And it’s the same for time off. When a few experienced staff showcase their healthy choices—by talking about their great camping trip or pinning photos of their mountain climb on the camp’s bulletin board—they are setting a great example for other staff to follow.

 

You’ve read to the end of this article, which I hope indicates your willingness to set that great example. Following in Phil Bader’s footsteps is one option; choosing to spend your time off wisely is the other.

 

 

Dr. Chris Thurber serves as a teacher and psychologist at Phillips Exeter Academy. He is co-founder of ExpertOnlineTraining.com, the leading provider of Internet-based educational content for youth leaders. Chris also hosts ACA’s homesickness prevention DVD for new campers, called The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success. To book Chris for an event, visit CampSpirit.com.

Finding a Camp with Expertly Trained Staff

This blog was originally posted on http://blog.campeasy.com/ on April 16, 2013.

 

It’s not as simple as you might think…but it just got easier.

Back in the day, all a college kid needed to land a camp job was to be a college kid. Camps were started in the latter part of the 1800′s by progressive educators-college professors and prep school headmasters-with degrees from Dartmouth, Harvard, Yale, Columbia and so forth.

Naturally, the young men (and, eventually, women) those owner/directors employed were-you guessed it-students from Dartmouth, Harvard, Yale and Columbia. The educational pedigree was enough. Alternatively, a university student might have a patron of sorts who wrote a handwritten “letter of reference” attesting to their character.

I don’t have hard data to support my gut feeling, but I sense that by the 1950′s, that Ivy League line was all but erased. Yet with all of the beneficial variety in staff educational backgrounds came looser (dare I say sloppy?) hiring practices. Enter movies such as Meatballs, whose portrayal of camp shenanigans in the 1970′s is as legendary as it is accurate.

The second millennium ushered in a new wave of staff hiring practices. Heightened awareness of physical and sexual abuse perpetrated by camp staff, along with industry associations that emphasized staff professionalism, established practices like background checks for all staff and transformed slapdash one-day orientations into “staff training week.”

These days, camp directors won’t even look at a prospective staff member’s application without first conducting a criminal background check and acquiring three references. There are even a growing number of national and provincial accreditation standards that suggest specific topics for staff training, which is wonderful. Topics such as equity and diversity, which never got mentioned, now get equal billing alongside lifeguard training and behavior management.

All of this specificity and conscientiousness has created a new problem, however. There is no longer enough time during staff training week (which in most cases is actually five days, not seven) to cover all of the recommended topics in any kind of meaningful depth. The average camp staff member needs to know everything from CPR and first-aid for anaphylaxis to bullying prevention and best practices for “responding to sensitive issues.” So although industry professionalism is an admirable goal, constraints in time and on-site expertise mean it is seldom fully achieved at the level of the front-line staff member.

How can a twenty-first century camp train professional-grade staff without expanding staff training week into staff training month? The answer is ridiculously simple: online education that staff complete before staff training week. Today’s college students already spend 6-8 hours per day online. Why not create a library of YouTube-length videos hosted by the top professionals in youth development and education? And, to ensure that the young man or woman taking care of your son or daughter has actually understood what they’ve watched, each video should be followed by a quiz whose results are also viewable to the camp director.

Enter ExpertOnlineTraining.com, an educational website with an impressive library of videos hosted by internationally renowned authors like Dr. Michael Thompson (of Raising Cain fame), Dr. Joel Haber (of BullyProof Your Child fame), and Faith Evans (of The More the Merrier fame). There are even videos hosted by Canadian canoeing expert Mike Sladden (ofCamp Pathfinder in Algonquin Provincial Park fame).

Ok, full disclosure: I co-founded the site. But that’s exactly why it should matter to moms and dads. I’m a father of two campers, ages 8 and 10. So now you now know an industry insider and camp parent who created an educational solution to a serious problem no camp director would dare mention. I’m biased, of course, but I recommend that every parent look for the EOT logo on their camp’s website and ask how they use ExpertOnlineTraining.com to complement their on-site training.

Your child deserves a capable leader, not just a student with a smile. And yes, we now have a video training module on treating anaphylaxis. Thank you, Dr. Laura Blaisdell.

 

Dr. Christopher Thurber, a frequent contributor to camping publications and health blogs, works as a clinical psychologist at Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire. He is the co-author of The Summer Camp Handbook and the host of the homesickness prevention DVD entitled The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success. Learn more on Chris’s website: CampSpirit.com.

Try Away to Fly Away

This blog was originally posted on http://blog.campeasy.com/ on April 9, 2013.

 

 

No single homesickness prevention strategy is as powerful or simple as practice time away from home. Indeed, now is the perfect time for parents to arrange for their child to spend a long weekend with friends or relatives.  The key is to simulate a camp-like separation from home by eschewing phone calls, refraining from pick-up deals, and encouraging hand-written correspondence.

All people spending time away from home and family feel some pangs of homesickness.  For children at camp, my research suggests that 80% aren’t bothered by these normal feelings of missing home.  The other 20% do experience distress.  For some, the basic functions of a camper—eating, sleeping, and participating in activities—become difficult and the emotional pain seems unbearable.

Fortunately, even the most intense homesickness is largely preventable.  And the cornerstone of prevention—practice time away from home—is actually fun when spent gradually.  Here’s how it works: Children learn to cope with distress out of necessity.  When they’re enjoying life and feeling happy, that’s wonderful.  But in that state, they’re not learning much about coping with negative emotions.

Along comes a stressor, such as misplacing a favorite toy, getting teased by a sibling, slogging through homework, or being transported to a place without parents, and things get interesting.  Depending on the child’s temperament, past experiences, and interpretation of the event in question, negative emotions, such as anxiety, depression, frustration, and anger ensue.  Whereas a small percentage of children give up and do nothing, most devise some way of coping.

For the frustration that results from a misplaced toy, the child might initiate a search or turn to another toy.  For the anger that’s ignited by a teasing episode, the child might fight back, walk away, or tell a parent.   For depression that accompanies a difficult homework assignment, perhaps the young person tells herself that it’s for her own good or will help her get a better grade.  And for feelings of homesickness that accompany exposure to a novel environment, children teach themselves to stay busy, make friends, and keep time in perspective.

Naturally (and I mean that literally), arranging practice time away from home prompts children to develop previously untapped coping skills…different things they can think or do to help themselves feel better when it hurts.  Most parents are surprised when I tell them that younger children are at no greater risk for intense homesickness than older children. Indeed, chronological age is a far less accurate predictor of homesickness intensity than…you guessed it…previous experience away from home.

It’s not all automatic, though.  Parents play an essential role in coaching their sons and daughters on the best ways to cope.  Luckily, there’s an inexpensive DVD-CD set that gives new camper families all the information they need to prepare, including guidance on the most powerful coping strategies for homesickness. The newly updated edition of “The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success” is available online from the American Camp Association’s bookstore (ACAcamps.org/bookstore).  Nestled among other valuable camp prep tips, such as how to pack a trunk and what to tell the camp nurse, is plenty of wonderful advice from actual campers on how to best prevent homesickness. Strategies include:

  • Spending practice time away from home (of course) without parents or phones.
  •  Arranging a play date with another camper in your area, to spark social connection at camp.
  •  Counseling parents to refrain from making pick-up deals, such as “If you feel homesick, I’ll come and get you.”  (You can guess how that inevitably concludes.).
  •  Counseling parents to refrain from sharing their own anxiety or ambivalence, such as “Have a great time at camp.  I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”  (Try “You’ll have a blast!” instead.).
  •  Gathering lots of information about the daily schedule and facilities at camp.  The more you know before you go, the more at home you’ll feel.
  •  Ensuring that new campers participate in preparation for camp, such as shopping and packing together with their parents.
  • Posting a calendar on the wall that indicates opening day and the session length.

Learning to cope with homesickness will not only make future separations from home easier, it also helps children develop an important life skill: emotion regulation.  Like camp itself, the preparation for camp builds character, confidence, and self-esteem.  Just don’t expect your son or daughter to be able to regulate the joy they’ll experience.  Nothing puts an indelible smile on kids’ faces better than the “I did it!” feeling that results from successfully completing their first overnight camp stay.

P.S.: You can enjoy the well-deserved break from full-time parenthood.

Dr. Christopher Thurber is a board-certified clinical psychologist, father, and the co-author of “The Summer Camp Handbook.” He created a homesickness prevention DVD-CD set called “The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success” that lowers the intensity of first-year campers by 50%, on average.  Visit CampSpirit.com to learn more.


Tiger Fun: Saving the World by Taking Camp Seriously

This blog was originally posted on http://blog.campeasy.com/ on April 2, 2013.

 

Beneath Amy Chua’s personal struggle in Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother lies a deeper ambivalence about learning: What on earth should we do with our children outside of school, during unstructured free time? Chua is at times conflicted but wryly proud of her intense, authoritarian solution, a luxury reserved for high-achieving, high-functioning parents. At the end of this best-seller, I felt rattled by Chua’s belief that education happens only in connection to school or homemade settings that are rigorously academic.

So entrenched is this education–school link that year-round school is routinely proposed as the answer to educational deficits among US youth. Ironically, summer holds the potential to endow children and adolescents with the life skills and values they need to become healthy adults with important careers that make meaningful contributions to society. Formal schooling has tremendous value, but one key to a complete education is a high-quality camp experience.

Research on the benefits of summer camp has conclusively validated 150 years of conventional wisdom. Camp does accelerate the development of young people’s social skills, self-esteem, independence, spirituality, sense of adventure, and environmental awareness. Astute camp directors know that combining community living away from home with a natural setting and a recreational premise creates hearty, happy, healthy children who know how to work together, win with humility, and lose with grace. They become resilient, motivated, and emotionally intelligent.

In the United States and around the world, visionary adults have created excellent children’s camps; our challenge now is to give camp to many more children. For every child who attends summer camp in the United States, there are about five who do not. Ethnic minority children, including Chua’s own biracial children, are especially under-represented at US camps.

Since biblical times, wise adults have outlined the youthful precursors to successful adulthood. Every decade or so, a new group of adults laments the shortcomings of that generation’s youth and restates their vision about how those young people can overcome their failings. Most recently, The Partnership for 21stCentury Skills recast the optimal outcomes of youth development as aptitude in: professionalism/work ethic; oral and written communication; teamwork/collaboration; and critical thinking. If corporate America is smart enough to understand that applied skills are essential for success, when will parents wake up to the importance of summer camp?

Summer camp was predictably absent from the recommendations in Are They Really Ready to Work? (co-authored by The Partnership). Yet the report, published in 2006, suggests a variety of action steps that camps have been taking since the mid-1800s. These include: teaching young people to make appropriate choices concerning health and wellness; offering activities that nurture creative thinking and socially skilled problem-solving; and providing opportunities for leadership.

Some would have us believe that fun learning is an oxymoron anywhere beyond preschool. If we stay fixed in that mindset, summer camp is doomed, along with our children’s mental health. Happiness is not a quaint byproduct of leisure; it’s the driving force behind success. We do our best — at work, at play, and in relationships — when we’re having fun. From that standpoint, summer camp becomes the perfect complement to traditional education. To Harvard University’s president, Charles W. Eliot, this was clear in 1922 when he declared, “The organized summer camp is the most important step in education that America has given the world.”

Parents should know that Eliot’s wise words pale in comparison to the words of enthusiasm that young people routinely use to describe their camp experience, such as:

  • “At camp, I make friends easily.”
  • “At camp, I get to try new things…stuff that might not be cool at school.”
  • “At camp, the pressures of school disappear and I can just relax and have fun.”
  • “At camp, I can be a leader by setting a good example for my friends.”
  • “At camp, I feel close to nature and to the planet.”
  • “At camp, I get to be myself.”

Parents might be surprised to know that it is this last response, “At camp, get to be myself,” that holds the most transformative power for youth.  When boys and girls find their authentic voices in a safe, nurturing, and challenging environment, they experience a rush of self-confidence.  This self-confidence then carries forward into other domains at home, school, and beyond.  It fuels their willingness to explore and learn, which is a key predictor of later success.

A high quality camp experience does more than halt summer learning loss; it provides experiences that accelerate development in the very direction employers crave. To quote one of my former leaders-in-training from Camp Belknap, “What I learned at Princeton and in medical school never could have prepared me to be chief resident at Johns Hopkins. It was my experience at summer camp that earned me that spot. I’m confident it’s also what will make me a good parent.”

What more could moms and dads possibly need to hear to convince them of the necessity of enrolling their son or daughter in summer camp? Although many US schools need serious improvement, we have less of an educational deficit than many believe. We have summer camps, created a century and a half ago by professional educators to bolster classroom education. It is now a moral imperative that we fulfill our commitment to our children by embracing the complementary relationship between schools and camps.

A version of this article was originally published in the 2011 November/December issue of Camping Magazine. Reprinted by permission of the American Camp Association.  ©2011 American Camping Association, Inc.

Dr. Christopher Thurber, a frequent contributor to camping publications and health blogs, works as a clinical psychologist at Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire. He is the co-author of The Summer Camp Handbook and the host of the homesickness prevention DVD entitled The Secret Ingredients of Summer Camp Success. Learn more on Chris’s website: CampSpirit.com.

It’s Not About Willpower: Make It a Habit!

In this presentation, Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman reviews the latest research in habit building and willpower (based on 4 books). This presentation is designed for the Students’ Wellness Fair at the Ardsley Middle School.

Dr. Baruch-Feldman is a licensed psychologist and a certified school psychologist. She has been on the EOT faculty since 2011. www.drbaruchfeldman.com